Hermione's parents

[delwynmarch]

No: HPFGUIDX 103858

Jujube wrote :
> What I find interesting about this discussion is the assumption that 
> Hermione's parents find a huge disconnect between the wizarding 
> world and their own world.  JKR doesn't give us any evidence of 
> this, and so it's entirely possible that Hermione's parents find her
> experience at Hogwart's to be as exciting as she does, and that they
> simply accept that this is how things are.

Del replies :
Hermione's parents can find her experience at Hogwarts exciting, they
can accept it's how things are, and *at the same time* they can feel
cut off from their daughter's world, and be hurt by that.

When Hermione says that she wants to tell her parents about the
Prefect badge because they can relate to that, it sure makes me wonder
how much of the WW they know and understand.

It reminds me very much of the time when I went to Canada for a year
as an exchange student, more than 10 years ago. The only mail at the
time was the post mail, and I wasn't much of a writer, so my mom
didn't get much info on my life there. And when I came back, I was
simply amazed at how little my mom could relate to my life there, how
much I had changed and how "estranged" to her I had become. It took us
several weeks to become re-accustomed to each other. Also, even though
she never mentioned it, because she has always supported me
completely, I know that this whole year with me far away was very hard
on my mother. And I was 17 when I left, not 11 !

And even now that I am 30 and I just moved to my husband's country, it
still hurts her to "lose" a daughter. We have Internet and the phone,
but still she hurts and she keeps bugging me for more info on my life
here, so she can *relate*.

Jujube wrote :
> As for Hermione's choices, I can totally understand choosing between
> time with my family (as much as I love my own family) and hanging 
> out with the most powerful people in the WW who are at the heart of 
> the most important thing to have happened in it  many years.  It's a
> no-brainer.  ;-)

Del replies :
Even when you haven't seen your family for a year and a half, or
barely ? Hermione left her parents 2 weeks before starting school in
GoF, didn't go home at all until the next summer holidays, when she
*maybe* spent a few days with her family before going to GP but we're
not even sure. Then comes Christmas, and she can't even spend a
miserable week with her parents ?? And worst of all, she says that
they are "a bit disappointed"... I'd be crying my heart out if my
15-year-old daughter made it so obvious that she doesn't want to spend
time with me anymore.

Jujube wrote :
> I don't think JKR is implying in any way that there is a problem 
> between Hermione and her parents and between their Muggle lives and 
> her wizarding life.  I also think JKR is glossing over, or 
> shorthanding, descriptions of Hermione's life outside of Hogwarts 
> purely because the books are already quite long and the stories 
> quite complex.  Hermione is bright, mature, and well-adjusted; I 
> don't think there is any hint of a problem in her relationship with 
> her parents, nor, I am emboldened to say, do I think JKR means for 
> us to fine one.

Del replies :
As you said four times in this paragraph, that's what YOU *think*.
Other people think otherwise. And nobody can speak for JKR.

Jujube wrote :
> I find this discussion similar to the one about Harry's mental 
> health and my personal reaction is the same--the world JKR creates 
> is not meant to correspond one-to-one to the world we live in; quite
> the opposite instead.  She's created a fantasy world where the usual 
> rules pretty much do not apply, and that's why I think it's perhaps 
> not very productive to try to investigate things that really aren't 
> there.

Del replies :
Once again, that's what *you* think. Other people can choose to think
differently. As for me, I sometimes read the books as a fantasy world,
and sometimes as the real world, depending on my mood.

Your last line doesn't make sense to me. When a writer creates a
world, they can never hope to describe it completely. On the other
hand, they usually DO hope that their readers will use their
imagination to fill in the holes and expand this imaginary world,
according to their own sensibilities and experiences. So saying that
some things aren't really there is saying that we shouldn't apply our
imagination and emotions to the Potterverse. What's the point of
reading the books then ?

Shaun wrote :
> > If I was Mr and Mrs Granger, the more I loved my daughter, the 
> > more hurt I would be by all of this. From their perspective, their 
> > daughter wants to spend more time with the Weasleys than she does 
> > them.

Jujube answered :
> Except we don't know this for a fact.  I think if JKR meant for us 
> to think there were problems between Hermione and her parents then 
> it would be pretty clear in the text.

Del replies :
Nope she wouldn't necessarily, because the story is told from Harry's
point of view. So for JKR to be able to tell us anything, Harry must
first come to realize it. And Harry is almost the last person on Earth
who could notice a problem in a *family* relationship. Hermione would
pretty much have to tell him flat out, and that's just not her type.

Shaun wrote :
> > But honestly... I'd be hard pressed to see how they can still be 
> > having a healthy real relationship with their daughter.
> > 
> > One weeks contact in 20 months? And a a daughter, who it seems 
> > likely is concealing large aspects of her life from them?
> > 
> > If they love each other, it may be that they'll be able to rebuild 
> > a new relationship, but I really doubt that what they have at the 
> > moment is particularly healthy.

Jujube answered :
> Except 1.  we don't have all of the facts to do a case study

Del replies :
We do have quite a few facts to start with : Hermione *lies* to her
parents to get away from them, she doesn't tell them much about her
life at school, she doesn't mind being away from them for 20 months.
In RL, that would be enough to ring an alarm bell.

Jujube wrote :
> and 2. this is not, at least not at the moment, an important plot 
> point--the book is not a psychological study of various families and
> the effects of this strange boarding school on them.  It's a fantasy
> about a young boy who becomes a hero.

Del replies :
Said who ?? As far as I know, JKR never wrote a preface to her books
saying that they were *only* about Harry Potter. That's their *title*,
yes, but a title isn't restrictive, it's descriptive : the title here
says that we are seeing the events through Harry's eyes.

If people want to dwell on other aspects of the book, it's their
*right*. A book is an object like any other : people can use it as
they want. Objects usually have one or two specific uses, but if
anyone wants to use them for anything else, that's their problem. You
might not agree, you might choose to keep away from them when they do
that, you might warn them, but you can't forbid them (unless you're
their mom :-)

Jujube wrote :
> So think it's OK to assume that all is well within the Granger 
> family.

Del replies :
OF COURSE it's okay to assume all is well ! This is your basic right
as long as JKR doesn't tell us clearly otherwise. But it's *just as
OK* to assume that all is not well since JKR has not come out and
shown Hermione and her parents having a warm, understanding and
fulfilling relationship.

> jujube, who is still s l o w l y getting caught up on digests

Del, who wishes you good luck, because things are getting crazy around
here. At least, by going on the website, I can choose which threads
I'm not interested in and skip them :-)