Sirius revisited--emotional maturity (Very long)

[delwynmarch]

No: HPFGUIDX 104859

Sherry Gomes wrote:
> I believe that the friendship between Lupin and Sirius is too close 
> for Lupin to have taken him seriously or been offended.  Otherwise, 
> why are they so close later, described as being like brothers?

Del replies :
I don't remember Sirius and *Remus* being described as brothers. I
remember Sirius and *James* being described so by McGonagall in PoA.
And interestingly, Peter is mentioned but not Remus. Looks like both
Remus and Peter were second-class friends in Sirius and James's gang.

Sherry wrote :
> But their friendship throughout the rest of the books doesn't show 
> any strain, and indeed, Lupin seems to be the only one, except maybe 
> Dumbledore, who can have any impact on Sirius and make him stop
> and think.  

Del replies :
Well, Remus is the only one who *knows* Sirius, isn't he ? He's the
only one who can figure out what's going on in Sirius's head and try
and prevent him from doing stupid things.
But we don't see Sirius doing much for Remus, do we ?

Amey wrote :
> I totally can understand the parents on this list reacting as they 
> do, but speaking as a person who has been disabled all my life, most 
> of us are not offended by teasing from our friends.  People may have 
> to earn the right to tease us, but if we trust them ... just like 
> anyone's trusted friends can tease them about whatever.

Del replies :
I've always been fat, and I've been teased about it in many different
ways, and I never liked it. But I've found that my *real* friends
quite simply *don't* tease me. I don't have to ask them not to, they
just don't do it to start with, or stop immediately after realising I
don't like it. *They* are my trusted friends. The others, the ones
that still think they can *innocently* tease me about my weight, even
though it's quite obvious I don't like it, are *not* trusted friends,
because if I can't trust them about something so obvious, how can I
trust them about more delicate issues ?

Anyway, I don't believe Sirius was teasing Remus. He was just
expressing his wish for fun, without caring one bit that what was fun
for him was no fun at all for his friend.

Del, who gets your point, though.