CHAPTER DISCUSSION: Chapter 22 - St. Mungo's Hospital

[delwynmarch]

No: HPFGUIDX 104874


Lee wrote :
> Okay, if I were there, I would probably try to pull Harry aside, 
> privately, and let him know, not in some vague way but point-blank, 
> look, I really care about you and I know this is rough on you; I 
> don't know exactly what it feels like to see what you're seeing and 
> such, but I'm here if you really want to talk.

Del replies :
I see at least 3 problems with that :
1. Just like everyone has a particular way of receiving support,
everyone also has a particular way of giving support, and this is
simply not the way of any of the adults who care about Harry. Molly is
the type who tries and makes your life simpler. DD and Remus try to
show in subtle ways that they are available if there's a real need,
but mostly they let you decide. And Sirius, well, that's a whole other
matter...
Some of the kids, on the other hand, act like that. But they have to
whack Harry around the head before he listens. Which brings me to my
second point.
2. Harry would just look blankly at you and pretend everything is
fine. I remember he did it to DD, but I can't remember in which book
(CoS ?). He had *many* things going wrong in his life, but when DD
asked him straightforwardly if he had anything to tell him, Harry
simply said no.
3. Harry *chooses* who he wants to talk to. At the beginning of GoF,
he didn't want to inform Hermione or Ron or DD or whoever about his
scar hurting, because he thought he knew how they would react and
wasn't interested. He chose Sirius, even though Sirius was far away
and barely knew him. So even if you told him every night that you're
there for him, Harry wouldn't remember it and would rather wish that
he could get help from the only one who couldn't right at that time,
whoever that might be.

Lee wrote :
> I'd let him know that as much as I might want to give him the
> answers he need/wants, I can't, not because I feel he's incapable of
> understanding but because the timing is wrong and, when possible, I'd
> give him the information.

Del replies :
But isn't that exactly what the Order did ? They made it quite clear
that someday the kids would be allowed in the Order and would get all
the answers. But Harry would not be satisfied with anything less than
the whole truth right now. That's just the way he is.

Lee wrote :
> I'd try to extend myself to him by just making myself available.

Del replies :
But apart from DD, all Harry's adult friends did just that, as much as
they could ! Harry spent *weeks* at GP, with many adult friends around
him, but he never talked to anyone.

Lee wrote :
> The direct approach, IMO, would put out a welcome mat, so to speak, 
> inviting him to take advantage of a good listening ear. Sometimes 
> listening is the key, and I don't feel there was very much real
> listening and response from those Harry hoped he could count on.

Del replies :
The *only* one who wouldn't talk to Harry was DD. All the others were
there for him. But they had *a lot* of work to do, and they were
burdened by their own emotional turmoils, so I guess they just didn't
feel like *prying* answers out of a moody teenager who almost never
opens up even when they are listening.

Lee wrote :
> I can agree to a point, but, as I stated above, sometimes a very 
> direct approach is needed to cut through the barriers or, at least, 
> create a tiny window...in other words, Harry, in his mind, doesn't 
> feel the availability of a good adult listener; everyone seems to 
> have his/her own agenda--protecting (or over-protecting Harry)--but 
> no one has really come to him and said, "I *really* am interested in 
> what *you're* feeling and what *you* need."
> 
> I know that, for myself, I respect that kind of approach when I'm 
> under stress.  I don't like it when people just try to come in and 
> take over and control my surroundings, even though their intentions 
> may be good and they might think they're taking some of the stress 
> off.  I much prefer someone saying to me, "What can I do to be of 
> help to you?"  IMO, Harry may be feeling the same way.

Del replies :
I'll repeat what I said earlier. You say that you react well to one
kind of support and not well at all to another. And you describe which
type of support you like and would like Harry to receive.
But none of the adults in the Potterverse give *that kind* of support.
It's not that they don't want to, it's just not their way. They never
did that, and they probably never will. It's unfortunate, for sure,
but I guess it's deliberate on JKR's part. It would be problematic to
have an adult who listens, gives good counsel, and answers all
questions. Not much angst left, heh :-) ?

Lee wrote :
> I get on doctors' cases a lot when I hear a clinical analysis done on
> someone I care about and, for example, when discussing a procedure or
> something, my first question is, "If you were in my position and 
> needed this done or your spouse needed this done, would you recommend
> it?"  That has been known to give them pause. :-)

Del replies :
I agree, but you see, it's not the doctors' *job* to *care* about
their patients. Their job is to heal them. Just like Moody's job is to
protect Harry, not to like him. And when someone starts confusing
their job and their emotions, you get DD, and his huge mistakes.
That's because he was *caring* for Harry that he didn't tell him what
he needed to know. If he had been more cold-hearted, more Moody-like,
Sirius would still be alive and Harry would have learned Occlumency,
among other things. It's because DD *was* supporting Harry in his own
way, taking as much of Harry's burden on his own shoulders as he could
for as long as possible, that in the end he ended up *not* supporting
Harry. What a paradox !

Del