Deadly FUNNY HP Story -- Starting with Sirius-Snape SHIP

[Brenda M.]

No: HPFGUIDX 104973

Oops, sorry, Alla. I thought you were a total Snape-basher, didn't 
realize you found him fascinating!

And I certainly wasn't aware of your fondness to Sirius-Snape SHIP. 
So, for PURE FUN and brain-cooling, here's what *really* happened:

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So there was Sirius and Severus, sitting under the tree, mastering 
the Dark Arts and hanging people upside down, etc etc. What a happy 
memory that was! Brought together by their pure-blood-driven 
families, everyone thought it was the perfect match! But once Snape 
laid his eyes on Lily -- he couldn't resist! Those green Almond-
shaped eyes, as he always fancied eating non-brown/beige almonds! So 
Snape broke up with Sirius to be with Lily, oh boy, was that a nasty 
fight! Lily accepted him for a while, only to dump him for richly 
loaded athlete James. James, who of course was in love with her for 
ages, gives her his undivided attention, away from Sirius. So here is 
heart-broken Sirius, who first lost 'love of his life', AND his best 
friend (whom he was "working on" with his doggy charm, mind you) -- 
to Lily!

So then Sirius seeks comfort in Voldie, because hey, Tom Riddle was 
exceptionally good-looking too in his old days, right? Practicing his 
old talent in Dark Arts, he turns ESE! to betray the Potters. But 
Snape, learning of his ex-lover's betrayal to James, strikes a deal 
with Voldie to spare Lily, as he was still smitten.

But Voldie meets his downfall, reduced to ashes by none other than 
Lily's son. Sirius, having lost his lovers 3 times in a row by that 
Lily, is maddened with grief. He first tracks down Peter to cause 
diversion, blame it all on Peter so that he can quietly give Snape 
what he deserves. You see, he must set Snape straight for 
continuously betraying him -- "I thought you loved me! Did that mean 
NOTHING to you???"

But old ratty Peter got the better of him! Now thrown in Azkaban 
cell, Sirius thinks fast and seduces a nearby Dementor. "You Dementor 
lot, you guys fancy Voldie don't you. I know how to turn him on you 
know. But I can't afford to lose my charms when he comes back, 
because, well, then he will have to turn to Lucius and Lucius will 
rat me out on my affair with him" So Dementors leave him alone for 
the most part, allowing him to remain remarkably normal in long 12 
years.

Then Sirius escapes after 12 years of Azkaban, learning where Harry 
and Peter were. That Harry, whose blood was filled with that Lily's, 
and Peter -- he stood in his way between him and Severus. He must 
kill 2 birds with one stone......  [please feel free to continue]


Bren, who CANNOT believe she wrote this. Where was *I* in this 
Sirius' love life.


>>> Alla wrote:
> 
> Ooo, it is my sacred duty to clarify my position as much as I am 
able to. :o)
> 
> 
> I am definitely not "real" Snape fan, in a sense that I would 
accept 
> anything that he does and love it, on the contrary. I will bash him 
> left and right for psychological torture he puts Harry through.
> 
> 
> BUT, having said all that, I am fascinated by his character and I 
do 
> think that he has many admirable traits (courage, struggle for 
> redemption, etc.. Didn't I tell you that one of my favourite 
> assumptions is that Snape will turn out to be a former Gryffindor.)
> 
> and I ALWAYS loved Sirius/Snape ship in fact, in the romance 
> department that is the ONLY ship I really care about 
in "potterverse"
> 
> 
> I don't see any strong, fleshed out female characters in canon yet 
> for either of my favourite guys to be involved with, so I love 
slash 
> very much so far. Unless, of course we will see a female love 
> interest for any of them in canon, then I will reevaluate my 
> preferences.