Emotional Intimacy in the HP stories (not necessarily romantic)

[meriaugust]

No: HPFGUIDX 105516

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "harp66" <harp66 at y...> wrote:
> I'd like to address a related issue of intimacy, how it is 
depicted 
> in these stories.
> 
> Is the relationship between Harry and Ron a good model of teenage 
> male friendship? In GoF we learn that Ron is the person who means 
> most to Harry. Is that reciprocated? And why don't they discuss 
girls?
> 

Meri: Well, here's my theory. If JKR wrote down and published every 
single conversation that Harry, Ron and Hermione ever had then the 
books would be so long and inane that *I* would probably give up on 
them. (Examples: Ron: "Hey, Harry, did you see Parvati today? She 
looked sweet!" Harry: "Yeah..."; Hermione: "Ron, could you pass me 
my Arithmancy book, please?") I mean, I don't think I could even 
make it through reading that stuff. Conversations about the opposite 
sex, while making these kids seem more realistic (though I find them 
fairly well rounded) are not really relavant to the plots of the 
stories. This to me is much like the reason why we hardly ever see 
Harry bathe or use the men's room. That's sort of an individual 
activity, and, unlike mealtimes where significant conversation can 
occur, there really isn't much that can happen in the way of plot 
advancememnt. I think that, despite our own personal feelings on 
this, that romantic attachments, relationships and more intimate 
conversations will have to remain on the periphery of the story, 
just because they really aren't necessary for Harry to defeat LV or 
whatever. As to whether or not Harry means a lot to Ron, I don't 
think that's something we have to wonder about. In Order, when Percy 
wrote that letter, who did Ron choose to defend? Harry. Who marched 
off to battle with Harry in SS, CoS and Order? Ron. Who does Ron 
tell first about trying out for Quidditch? Harry. I'd say Ron 
probably looks at Harry as the nice brother he never quite had. 

> And Hermione. What are community members' thoughts on the way her 
> friendship with Ron/Harry is depicted in terms of sharing herself 
> with them emotionally? Shared adventures aside, how deep is their 
> relationship? And why isn't she shown to have female intimates? Is 
> this a flaw in the stories?

Meri: Well, we don't know anything about what happens in the girl's 
dorms, and while Hermione doesn't seem to take to Lavender and 
Parvati, she is very close with Ginny, who probably looks to 
Hermione like a big sister/best friend type of deal. Ginny was, 
after all, the only one who knew that Viktor was taking her to the 
Yule Ball, they share a camp tent together and a room at the Burrow, 
and surely that is not a simple "your my big brother's friend" type 
realtionship. I can see Ginny needing a sister. But again, this is 
Harry's story, and more than that it is Harry's hero story. It bears 
little relevance to the plot what happens in the girls tower, and 
the one time it does (in Order, wher Hermione tells Harry that 
Parvati was badmouthing him and she told her to shut it) is 
specifically highlighted. This isn't Sweet Valley High or Dawson's 
Creek, and frankly I can live without those sorts of conversations. 
Just IMHO. 

Meri - who always prefered Roswell to Dawson's Creek, because at 
least that show tempered the teen angst with some neat-o special 
effects and hot alien sex