Hermione's Reaction to... Was: Re: Harry's first Kiss (is it a smoke screen?)

[delwynmarch]

No: HPFGUIDX 105976


Anasazi wrote :
> True, Ron is poor... but he happens to have a good home where the 
> people that live there love him (and we all know that, even with all 
> the teasing, the twins love their little bro). He has a mother and a 
> father who love him.

Del replies :
I already expressed my views about that. In short, they love Number 6,
they don't love *Ron*. His mother cannot even remember that he hates
corned-beef or the colour marroon (think of the pain of getting every
single year a Christmas gift that he hates from his mom ! Especially
when Harry gets nice personalised sweaters...). The twins won't let
him (or Percy) be whoever or whatever he wants. His mom humiliates him
in front of the whole school (the Howler). She never believed in him
enough to even *hope* that he might be made school prefect (while she
did hope that the twins would be). I always felt like Harry and Ron's
first dialog was very telling, when Ron gloomily tells Harry that he
has not 3, but 5, older brothers. That's Ron entire identity until age
11 in a nutshell : he's Number 6.

Anasazi wrote :
> He has no money, but I doubt he's ever gone hungry to bed.

Del replies :
But the lack of money plays against Ron developing his self-esteem
anyway, because once again he is constantly reminded that he is Number
6. He gets Charlie's old wand, Percy's old pet, and so on. Not to
mention the too small clothes and the formal dress that looks like a
girl's gown. And of course as many second-hand things as possible.
I've been there (second-hand stuff and clothes too small but you can't
buy new ones), and I know it doesn't help with a kid's self-esteem.

Anasazi wrote :
> He may not be the brightest boy when it comes to school (neither is 
> Harry - the position belongs solely to Draco),

Del replies :
Harry *is* the best in DADA. Ron is best at nothing. And even if he
were, he would still be not as good as one or the other of his big
brothers.

Anasazi wrote :
> but he has shown he's a good strategist.

Del replies :
He got a handful of points for that in PS (still less than Harry did),
and since then ? Nothing. Nobody cares. Harry, on the other hand, is
often congratulated for his various accomplishments.

Anasazi wrote :
> He's now able to play his beloved Quidditch, and is enjoying the fame
> and attention that came with it.

Del replies :
But he's *easily* second-best to Harry ! Harry has been the star of
the show right from their first year, while Ron got his first shoot at
fame at the end of his 5th year. Harry is naturally immensely
talented, Ron has been ridiculing himself on the Quidditch pitch for
the whole year. And he got his fame moment only after Harry left the
team anyway. Second-best, again and again.

Anasazi wrote : 
> Now, let's compare what Ron has with Harry... Harry is an orphan, 
> both parents murdered by a powerhungry sociopath when he was only one 
> year old. Forced to live for 10 years with an abusive family that 
> regarded him as less valuable than the poo I stepped on last night 
> (and that's pretty low my friend). I mean, we can consider that Ron's 
> self-esteem might be a bit low due to the constant comparison with 
> his succesful older brothers... but what about Harry, who lived for 
> those 10 years in the shadow of Dudley? 

Del replies :
But the thing is : we know, we *see*, that Ron has a problem of
self-esteem because of his big brothers. On the other hand, Harry
never shows any feelings of inferiority relating to the way the
Dursleys treat him. The only doubts he has in PS/SS is that he doesn't
think he can be a good wizard. But events quickly convince him of the
opposite. Ron *has* a problem of self-esteem, Harry doesn't. And
telling Ron that he shouldn't have that problem because, hey he had it
better than Harry all those years, would be useless, unhelpful and cruel.

Anasazi wrote : 
> Then he finds he's a wizard and that he has money. Pity that is blood 
> money since he only inherited because his parents are dead. Then in 
> Hogwarts, he is thrown in the limelight of fame in a way he comes to 
> despise (how many people want to have lies written about them in the 
> media, raise their hands), finds out that the murdering sociopath is 
> still out there, waiting to come back to his full power, in order to 
> finish what they started that night in Godric's Hollow (Re: Death). 

Del replies :
I know all of that. It doesn't change the fact that all those things
help Harry define who he is and who he wants to be, even if they do so
in brutal and highly unpleasant ways. But Ron is *nobody* : he's just
the 6th Weasley son and Harry's shadow. Let's face it : that's even
precisely the reason Harry took to Ron to start with : because he felt
that Ron felt just as miserable as Harry did, even if it was for a
different reason. Harry felt like he couldn't possibly fit in the WW,
and he saw right away that Ron was crushed by the weight of having 3
(no, 5) big brothers. Harry felt like he was nobody, and he recognized
a similar-minded soul in Ron. Except that Harry quickly discovered
that he was wrong about himself, but Ron only got his own belief
confirmed to him by becoming the Famous Harry Potter's shadow. Harry
was thrown into the light, Ron has had to fight to get out of the
shadows that surround him from everywhere. That's a MAJOR difference
for teenage boys whose main unconscious concern is precisely to
discover *who they are*. Neither position is pleasant, but at least
one can *see* in the light.

Anasazi wrote : 
> He's been close to death not once, not twice, but six times, and has 
> witnessed the people he cares about almost losing their lives because 
> of their relationship with him.

Del replies :
Ron has several times put his own life at risk for his friends, and
he's come perilously close to losing his little sister and his father.

Anasazi wrote :
> He has gained, and LOST, the closest thing he had to a paternal 
> figure (Sirius). And now, he has that godforsaken prophecy hanging 
> over his head. Talk about pressure! I would have broken down a long 
> time ago.

Del replies :
Ron is under tremendous pressure too, even if we don't realise it.
Pressure to prove himself from his parents, pressure to follow Harry
wherever he goes no matter the circumstances and no matter how deadly
it will undoubtebly prove to be, and an enormous internal pressure to
discover who he is and who he wants to be. Only problem : the simplest
way to achieve that last goal that would be to get away from those who
cast those shadows on him, Harry and his family, but that's precisely
what Ron can't, what he won't, do.

Anasazi wrote :
> So it seems to me that Harry was the one that drew the short straw 
> here.

Del replies :
It doesn't change the fact that Ron is constantly in Harry's shadow.
In  all the things that matter as far as self-esteem is concerned, Ron
is always second-best to Harry. Except in the Prefect matter, but even
there we readers know better.

Del