Ron's "poor me" syndrome.

[eldermomx3]

No: HPFGUIDX 106343

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "delwynmarch" 
<snip> 
> Alla quoted :
> > "Ron had taken out a lumpy package and unwrapped it. There were
> > four sandwiches inside. He pulled one of them apart and said, "She
> > always forgets I don't like corned beef." PS/SS, p.101
> 
> Del replies :
> Well, excuse me, but if when I was 11, my mom had not been able to
> remember what foods I don't like (especially since Ron seems to like
> most foods, so the list of those he doesn't like must be very 
short),
> I would have been downright mad. I consider it a basic proof of love
> to make the effort to remember what your loved ones like to eat and
> wear. They are *people* with likes and dislikes, not animals 
submitted to the will of their caretaker.

MJ Here:  
I very lucky to be from a family of nine (6 girls, 1 boy though).  
And I would have never dreamed to consider it a basic proof of love 
for my mom to make an effort to remember my likes and dislikes in 
food.  Unless you are from a large family, it's hard to imagine the 
happy chaos that life is.  It is pretty much "here's the food, eat 
up!" 

<snip>
> 
> Alla quoted : 
> > "Why aren't you wearing yours, Ron?" George demanded.
> > "Come on, get it on, they're lovely and warm."
> > "I hate maroon," Ron moaned halfheartedly as he pulled it
> > over his head." – PS/SS, p.202
> 
> Del replies :
> Why do you think the twins tease Ron about wearing his jumper ?
> Because they know he hates maroon. Molly should, too. That's the 
basic of gift-giving : making sure you're not offering something that 
the person *reputedly* doesn't like. If one of my friends offered me a
> pink fluffy cardigan, I'd be severely disappointed, and I would 
wonder how much that so-called friend actually cares about me, if 
they don't even know how much I hate pink, and fluffy clothes.

MJ here again:
Ron didn't say that he told his mom he hated maroon.  It sounded kind 
of half-hearted to me.  And he doesn't mention it like that again in 
the other books when he gets his maroon sweater.  Again from my 
experience with a large family, sometimes things like that just 
happen.  Bill probably gets brown, Charlie gets a light blue one, 
Percy's was green, the twins' were dark blue.  By the time she got to 
Ron, maroon probably seemed a good color.  I think it shows that she 
does see them as individuals.  Just that the tradition isn't one that 
Ron is really pleased with.  My mom used to make us matching dresses 
for Easter.  She was so proud of them and we have all these pictures 
of us standing on the lawn together with our dresses on.  I can't say 
that I thought it was great but she was very proud of it.  > 

> Alla quoted : 
> > "It's a bit small," said Ron quickly. "Not like that
> > room you had with the Muggles. And I am right underneath the 
ghoul in
> > the attic; he is always banging on the pipes and groaning
"
> > But Harry, grinning wildly, said, "This is the best house
> > I've ever been in."
> > Ron's ears went pink" –CoS, am.ed., p.41
> 
> Del replies :
> No, Alla, please not this one ! It's so OBVIOUSLY a direct parallel 
to what many many MANY people do every day ! Ron is afraid of making a
> bad impression on Harry, he's afraid his best pal will think little 
of his home and most particularly of his room. He's seen Harry's room,
> and he's afraid Harry will regret it, because it's bigger and 
quieter. So he apologises in advance. I do that all the time !!

MJ here:
Ron seems very pleased with his own room.  More than likely he 
probably shared a room until Charlie moved on to Romania, so having 
his own room, however small was probably great.  I do agree that he 
is doing what you say and apologising in advance.  But I think his 
ears turn pink because he's pleased that Harry likes it so well.

<snip>
 
> Alla quoted :
> > "Well, they `re okay!" said Ron angrily, looking at Harry's 
robes, 
> > Why couldn't I have something like that?" – GoF, p.156
> 
> Del replies :
> Mom's Ron just bought his 14-year-old boy maroon girl-gown-like 
robes...

MJ Here:  
I think Molly was trying to do the best she could in this situation.  
She says that's what they had left.  At the end she gets mad, I think 
to cover up that she feels bad about it too.  

> 
> Alla wrote :
> > Is  it a mortal sin for Ron to complain about his poorness? 
Surely not, BUT it does get very annoying. I am expecting Ron to put 
things 
> > in perspective by now.
> 
> Del replies :
> I don't find that annoying at all. I'm even surprised at how little
> Ron complains. I had friends who complained 10 times more, even 
though
> they were nowhere as poor as Ron.
<snip>
> 
> Del

MJ here:
I totally agree, Del.  Ron hardly complains at all.  I don't think he 
has a "poor me" syndrome at all.  He is just telling how he feels, 
perfectly normally, I think.

I also see some of the fun he has with his family.  The scene with 
the picnic tables in the garden (GOF Chapter 5) seems to be a great 
time and the meal when Harry first gets to 12 GP (OOTP Chapter 5)
sound as if they are happy times.  Families that have a lot of 
tension in them don't usually have such fun IMO.  I know when my 
family gets together now there is a lot of laughing and fun and we 
had plenty of fights when we were kids.  

Thanks for letting me share my view.  -MJ