FF :Tom Riddle's Diary

[william_mclamb]

No: HPFGUIDX 108210

Vapor!Mort:  "Well this is certainly unexpected!" (Looks at Harry in 
his crib)"You should be dead!"  (Looks at Dead!Lily) "Hmm, no doubt 
some ancient Potter heirloom spell.  No matter.  It's time for plan 
B!!(Evil genius that he is he avoided calling it Plan D)

Ignoring whatever is going on around him as unimportant Vapor!Mort 
wafts his way to whereever he hid his school diary.  Wherever it is 
down in the deepest, dankest dungeon is a small library of carefully 
selected books and scrolls.  Lying on a comfortable bed, next to 
which is a couple of years worth of M-Rats(magical rations) is an 
old, old "friend" of Voldemort's, clutched in his hands is Tom's 
school diary.  This person is under the influence of spells which 
must be renewed periodically.

Vapor!Mort:  "Now just to settle down and enjoy the show!" (Vapor!
Mort begins munching on passing rats like a thirteen-year-old boy 
eating popcorn while seeing Star Wars for the first time.)

The sleeper awakes.

The Awake!Sleeper gradually falls under the control of Diary!Tom 
who...

Vapor!Mort turns to the Muggle audience and says:  "Hey, you don't 
think I'm going to let you see any of this do you!  Just be satisfied 
in knowing that you are Plan C!  You can come back when the good part 
starts.  Now, begone!!"

The audience hastily hurries to the next visible scene, except for 
one who tries to see some of the deleted scenes.  He and half the 
audience promptly keel over dead!

Vapor!Mort: "NO PEEKING!"

The shrunken audience rushes to the next scene.

Lord Voldemort:  "Taa Daa!  I'm back, and badder than ever!  Oh, 
badness I was a good looking fellow!  First things first, I have to 
get that cottontail fellow...No, I think the name is Wormtail, 
whatever his name was needs to come here and breed me some better 
tasting rats those were foul.  And then..."  He turns to the audience 
and says, "This audience is over!"

The audience falls over dead.

************

So why doesn't a better written version of this happen?  I can think 
of two possiblities.

1)  Someone,perhaps Lucius, steals the diary before it can happen.

Or,

2)  The diary was never Tom's at all and someone created it for their 
own purposes.

What do you think?