Question re thestrals from my 6-1/2 year old

[Steve]

No: HPFGUIDX 99871

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, Schlobin at a... wrote:
> 
> My son Jesse asked me --- didn't Harry witness his mother dying? If
> yes, why  couldn't he see thestrals sooner?
> 
> Can someone help?
> 
> Susan

bboy_mn:

Here is a better question that will help answer your son's question.

After seeing Cedric die in Goblet of Fire, why couldn't Harry seen the
Thestrals at the end of the year when they took the carriages down to
the train station?

Well, the first and most important answer Ms. Rowling herself gave us.
She didn't want to introduce the Thestrals right at the end of the
book and then just leave it hanging without explaination. It would
have been a very jarring distraction that would have pulled attention
and focus away from the 'wind-down' and conclusion of that story.

So, in a sense, she had to invent an explanation, and this is the
explanation she decided on. It takes a while to process death, to
internalize it, and Harry hadn't fully come to grips with Cedrics
death by the end of GoF. 

If you have had someone dear to you die, you are aware that there are
stages of grieving. First is denial, then realization but still
accompanied by disbelief. Eventually, we have acceptance then we move
on. Until you cross through this process and reach the 'move on'
stage, you haven't fully internalized that death.


Now we come to your son's question regarding Lily's death. Harry was
about 18 months old and the event occured at midnight. My explanation
is based on two key points; 1.) he didn't see it, 2.) he didn't
understand it.

Logically, he was in bed, and most logically, he was in a baby's bed
of some kind; crib, cradle, bassinet, etc.... While Harry was present
in the room when Lily was killed, given that he was contained in a
babies 'bed', is it likely that he was actually able to SEE anything? 

When he has his Dementor induced memories of Lily's death they are all
about sounds he heard, there were no visual recollections. This tends
to confirm my belief that while he was there, he didn't actually see
it happen or see Lily's body.

Then next part is probably the most important. I don't think an 18
month old child has the ability to process death; to comprehend it,
understand it, grieve the loss, or internalize the event. In a sense,
Harry lacked the ability to understand death, and therefore, would
never have been able to gain the ability to see the Thestrals from it. 

It is only now when Harry is older, and is able to look back on those
memories, and process that death with his more developed and mature
mind that is is able to properly understand her death.

I confess I've taken a very small comment by JKR and expanded it to
what I think is a larger logical conclusion. If I am right, then it
does very nicely explain why Harry couldn't see the Thestrals. 

Hopefully, if you accept my theory, you will be able to come up with a
condensed version that your son can understand. 

'Condensed versions' never were one of my strong suits.

Just a thought.

bboy_mn