FILK: The Son of Lucius Malfoy

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 101309

I was annoyed by a fervent pro-Draco filk someone submitted recently 
to HPF, and I came up with this response 

The Son of Lucius Malfoy

Dedicated to Ginger

To the tune of In Enterprise of Martial Kind, aka The Duke of Plaza-
Toro, from Gilbert & Sullivan's The Gondoliers – text and MIDI here.

http://diamond.boisestate.edu/gas/gondoliers/html/gn_03.html

THE SCENE: Slytherin Commons. Enter CHORUS OF SLYTHERINS, to serenade 
one of their own. BLAISE ZABINI does the snare drum solos. 

PANSY
He's brilliant, handsome, brave and bold
Or so they say in fanfic
But when the Canon's roar takes hold
He's one who always ran quick.
"A duel, oh Harry, let's begin!"
But showed up not at all, oy!
That lily-livered
Timber-shivered
Undelivered
Slytherin 
The son of Lucius Malfoy!

ALL 
He is our fellow sneak, ha, ha! 
With quite the yellow streak, ha, ha! 
That lily-livered
Undelivered
Timber-shivered
Slytherin 
The son of Lucius Malfoy!

MONTAGUE
When 'mentors glided through our grounds
And gave Potter great anguish
Our hero did a plan propound
That he would not let languish
But when disguised in dusky sheets
He quite lost his morale, oy!
That masquerading
Unpersuading
Truth-evading
Chaffy cheat
The son of Lucius Malfoy

ALL
When faced with Patron's blast, ha, ha! 
To earth he quickly passed, ha, ha! 
That masquerading
Unpersuading
Truth-evading
Chaffy cheat
The son of Lucius Malfoy

MILLICENT
When Lucius was to sent to the poke 
For Voldemort a-helping
His son did Gryffindor provoke
With Crabbe and Goyle a-yelping.
In contrast to Harry's D.A.,
He proved the weaker alloy
That red-and-swelling
Badly smelling
Cellar-dwelling
Popinjay
The son of Lucius Malfoy

ALL
His fans adore his mug, ha, ha!
Though oozing like a slug, ha, ha!
That red-and-swelling
Badly smelling
Cellar-dwelling
Popinjay
The son of Lucius Malfoy
That red-and-swelling
Badly smelling
Cellar-dwelling
Popinjay
The son of Lucius Malfoy!
 
    -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm