What's wrong with being bad ?

[delwynmarch]

No: HPFGUIDX 102176


Barbara bd-bear wrote : 
> My read on this must be similar to Darrin's because I remember 
> reading multiple times where unnamed Slytherins were laughing with 
> Draco when he'd make fun of Harry or Hermione.

Del replies :
There's a vast difference between actually doing the bullying or
mocking, and simply laughing at it. Many of us on this list admit to
have laughed at some things in the books that were both funny for us
and painful for whoever they were happening to. And after all Draco
*is* funny sometimes, if you don't happen to be a friend of Harry's. 

I, Del, wrote:
> Yes, let's discuss the degrees of bullying, and then let's have a 
> poll to ask how many of our members NEVER indulged in some degree of
> bullying ! Honestly, how many of us never made fun of the nerd in 
> our class ? How many of us never called a girl fat just to make her 
> sad ? How many of us never commented on the acne of a guy ? How many
> of us never refused to associate or to be seen with certain people ?
> (I did do some of those, though not all).

Barbara bd-bear answered :
> I am surprised at your statements asking "How many of us," as if 
> that is a right of passage every kid goes through. I NEVER indulged 
> in bullying and certainly never did the things you suggested above. 

Del replies :
Well, I must admit I'm amazed !
But then maybe it's another one of those cultural issues. I remember
being surprised, when I went to Canada, at how much gentler the kids
seemed to be there. Maybe it's just France then, or maybe it's just
the schools I went to in France. But I can tell you that it was a
sport in those schools, to say witty nasty things about other kids. 

And when I read the HP books, I was much more reminded of my French
schools than of the Canadian highschool I went to...

Barbara bd-bear wrote : 
> I was, however, the object of bullying and peer-abuse and I can tell
> you, it doesn't matter what "degrees" you talk about, it's all 
> painful. 

Del replies :
Yes it's always painful. But I still stood it better when they
confined themselves with calling me names. There were things much
harder than that.

Barbara bd-bear wrote : 
> I also don't agree with you that it's normal to make others look 
> bad. (That is, if your meaning of normal is healthy or proper. If 
> your meaning of normal is "common," then yes, it's all too common.) 

Del replies :
That was indeed my meaning. I would never call bullying healthy or proper.

Barbara bd-bear wrote : 
> Bullying and talking nastily behind the backs of your peers is
> prevalent in some schools in some areas, but that doesn't make it 
> normal or acceptable (it makes it something to fight against and 
> teach our children NOT to do).

Del replies :
But since *nobody* ever bothers to teach the kids at Hogwarts not to
do it, doesn't that imply that it's considered normal ? DD even lets a
*teacher* get away with it...

Barbara bd-bear wrote : 
> And I wonder, if you yourself were the target of bullying, how
> you could have "called a girl fat just to make her sad"? (Or 
> whatever specific thing is you were owning up to when you said "I 
> did do some of those, though not all.")

Del replies :
As you would guess, that was one of those things I did *not* do :-)
Nor the nerd one, since I was on too. But I must admit having
commented once or twice about some poor guy's out-of-control acne, and
to my great shame I must admit I did shun people I didn't want to be
seen with a few times. Not often, because it made me feel horribly
bad, and I always regretted it.

Barbara bd-bear wrote :  
> I think Draco is too cunning to get caught by someone he would 
> actually get punished by.

Del replies :
Very rarely do we see Draco checking that there aren't any teachers
around before he has a go at Harry. Most of the time, he just does it
whenever he feels like it, and I can't believe that there would
*never* be any teacher around. All those scenes in the great Hall for
example : there are *always* teachers there.

Del