FILK: In Potions

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 102221

Happy birthday OOP!

In Potions (OOP, Chap. 24, 26)

To the tune of Tom Lehrer's Pollution 

Here Tom himself sing it at:

http://soundamerica.com/sounds/comedy/Tom_Lehrer/

Dedicated to Gail, my partner in crime 

SNAPE: 
I am told by Hogwarts head man, see,
I must teach you Occlumency
There's one thing that you must not discuss:
Don't dare to utter of our syllabus

In Potions, in Potions,
You must say, "Remedial Class"
Then shut your trap
Lest Dolores nail our ass!

HARRY
See the scuttlebutt spread by Corner
How my potions are sub-normaler
This helps display how rumors get spread
They say I'm in Snape's Special Ed

MICHAEL CORNER & ZACHIARIAS SMITH
In Potions, in Potions,
Though he teaches Dark Arts Defense
When boiling his brews
He is sing'larly dense

SNAPE:
Every Monday at 6 p.m.
Another evening of tedium
Each lesson turns out the same old grind - 
The tip of my wand hits the back of his mind

Emotion, emotion.
Wear your heart proud on your sleeve
Voldy prevails
`Gainst the weak and naïve

Lots of junk there inside your brain
But there's one thing you had best explain
Augustus Rookwood, who is down upon his knees, 
Proves you've had dreams about DEs!

So vow off those visions
Leave the Death Eaters to me 
Hear this, Harry Potter - 
I just told ya not ta
Dream of Mys- (Legilimens!) –Teries!

    -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm
(updated today for OOP's 1st anniversary with 78 new filks!)