TBAY - HEAVENLY STUDS

[Barry Arrowsmith]

No: HPFGUIDX 102444


Who would have thought that it was only a year  since MADAM WHIPLASH 
rose like a phoenix from the carnage of Hurricane Jo? And what a year 
it  had been. Thanks to Madam W's strictness, with both the accounts 
and the customers, the  latest bank statement from Gringott's  had more 
zeros than Neville's exam papers. "Time  to treat myself," she thought 
as she  watched Droopy, the freed House-Elf, hone the stiletto heels on 
her thigh-high black PVC boots.
"I want them to shine!" she snapped. "And if you drop any of the 
Dragons blood stain repellent on the carpet again it'll be the 
thumbscrews for you my lad!"
"Yes, mistress," quavered Droopy, reflecting that freedom maybe wasn't 
all it was cracked up  to be.

Not that she lacked for anything anyway. Her besotted clientele 
showered her with presents, so many  that Kneasy, Butterbeer fancier 
and man of business,  was listing them as a first step in launching the 
'Lash out for a Loved One' Owl-Order Gift Catalogue. "After all," he'd 
pointed out, "a girl only needs so many Demiguise-lined Madam Malkin 
originals. Why not re-cycle 'em? And where they got the idea that the 
lining would make the robe translucent I don't know. It's intended to 
make some of the wearer invisible - you know, whatchacallit? Yes, 
spellulite, that's it!"

Madam W smiled to herself. The dowdy dentist's daughter was no more, in 
her stead was a glittering star of the social scene, three times winner 
of 'The Girl Most Likely To' monthly poll in the Quibbler's Erised 
supplement.

The door creaked open and her beloved Crankshaft, he of the gentle 
purr, evil yellow eyes and vicious temper, stalked in, a message 
parchment gripped in his snaggle teeth. Depositing the note in Madam's 
lap he retired to his basket, where he took up where he'd left off - 
battering a Kloven-hoofed Cuaron model until it fitted his toy cannon.

"Not again!" expostulated Madam, "some Quidditch louts want a block 
booking - an after-match celebration. Oh, no. Not after that last lot. 
Twice I had to send out for  more unguent  and my Flexi-wand still 
hasn't recovered!" She grimaced. "Huh. Beaters - what do  they know? 
Amateurs, all of them. Well, they can just...." She paused as she saw 
something that had escaped her notice. It was for the Bulgarian 
Quidditch Team! Victor! He of the enchantingly mangled vowels and small 
piggy eyes set amidst a lowering scowl.

This could be interesting. She'd had no trouble twisting him round her 
little finger before, even though she'd been an ingenue;  though  that 
girl-to-girl chat with Madam Rosmerta  and the discreet application of 
a few drops of 'Circe Miss - For  The Saucy Miss' had definitely 
helped. And here he was, coming back for more.

He'd forgotten all about Quidditch when he was with her, everything 
else had become secondary to him. He existed to cater to her every 
whim, he'd said so often enough. He'd even named his favourite racing 
broom after her - Her-me-ninny. she shrugged. Well, you can't have 
everything. Wait a minute! Why  not? Now she knew what she wanted as a 
treat for herself -  a little fun and games with the boys.

Having Victor around would put Ron in his place - he'd been much too 
independent lately, and it would slow Harry down a bit too. Most of all 
it would put her in Bumblebore's good books. He hadn't approved of her 
little business venture down here on the BAY, suggesting that she 
needed to spend more time mastering spells rather than spelling 
masters. So  he'd  found out about Flitwick, had he? Tough. But if she 
could captivate Victor, the star of a Dark Magic school and deliver him 
soft, compliant and willing to work for the Order, happy just so long 
as he could worship at  her feet, even old Bumble would be pleased. Oh, 
yes -  she could do that without much trouble, and enjoy herself at the 
same time.

Hmm:-
Hermione Enchants Adoring Victor Ensuring Nasties Lose Youthful Star, 
Triggering Unfeigned Dumbledore Satisfaction

HEAVENLY STUDS.  "In more ways than one," reflected Madam, giggling 
quietly to herself.