FILK: This Tattered Old Book

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 91964

Song #2 from the CoS Musical, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to 
the Chamber

This Tattered Old Book (CoS, Chap. 13)

To the tune of that That Dirty Old Man, from  Sondheim's A Funny 
Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum 

A brief MIDI can be heard here:

http://www.bway2.com/tracks/forum/

Dedicated to Suzanne Chiles

THE SCENE: HARRY'S bedroom at Gryffindor, as he dialogues with the 
diary of TOM RIDDLE.

TOM RIDDLE
For over fifty years,
I've been trapped on this page
Once hailed by all my peers
Because the terror I encaged!
My service to the school
Forgotten now by all
I now think you've a need to see
What happened on this hall
Ohhhh . . .

I'll show you,
I'll show you,
Now hear me
This tattered old book can give to you 
A Chamber of Secrets overview
Let's flip ahead to the month of June
It's now the 13th nearing High Noon
..

HARRY
I trust him, 
He'll guide me
Where am I?
This tattered old book 
Now shows to me
Some previous Hogwarts history,
Tom Riddle is with some giant kid
Accusing him (oh no, it's Hagrid!) 

(HARRY sees the young HAGRID, defending his Aragog from RIDDLE's 
accusations)

TOM RIDDLE
Oh, Rub,
Old Rub,
I'll tell

HAGRID
My Aragog ain't no villain!

TOM RIDDLE
Confess,
Repress
Your pal!

HAGRID
Whatever you say, I know he isn't guilty

TOM RIDDLE
Your monster
Is killing
As if by assembly line.

HAGRID
I love him


(Aragog flees as RIDDLE raises his wand)

HARRY
He ope'd it,
That creature-prone, crude, criminalous, crackpot, cranky, crazy,
Creepy old friend of mine!

   -	CMC

NoTE: "Criminalous" is not a real word, but I couldn't find any good 
four-syllable word beginning with "cr"

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm