The Fans v JK Rowling

[Ali]

No: HPFGUIDX 92319

All rise: this court is now in session.

Judge: Ms Rowling, you stand before us today accused of a heinous 
crime. Your maths does not add up. You know that Hermione should 
really be older than Harry. How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?

Ms Rowling: (shuffles feet and looks sheepish). Err, I've never said 
that my maths is very good. I think there might be one or two 
inconsistencies. Hmmn

Judge: I repeat do you plead guilty or not guilty?

Ms Rowling: err, innocent until proven guilty?

Judge (enters plea of not guilty)

The Prosecution:

This case will centre around trying to solve the riddle of 
Hermione's age. It is acknowledged that there are a number of 
inconsistencies with other details involving adding up and other 
simple mathematical formulae, but it is not our aim to draw 
attention to these today. 

(audible sound from the Public Gallery of cough, Charlie and Bill's 
ages cough cough splutter).

The Defence:

The Defence will argue that the Potterverse is a make-believe World. 
Most internal consistencies can be explained or even altered at a 
later date. If Ms Rowling wishes that Hermione is younger than 
Harry, then quite simply she is.

Any arguments surrounding Ms Rowlings maths are pointless. This 
court would not exist if it were not for the word of Ms Rowling, as 
such it has no jurisdiction to try its well if not creator, generous 
benefactor.

The Prosecution:

The Hogwarts school year runs along the same lines as English 
schools: the school year begins at the beginning of September, and 
is broken down into 3 terms, finishing for the summer holidays 
sometime towards the end of June. This much is agreed by all.

Normally, English children begin their secondary education in the 
September after they turn 11. Thus *all* children would be 11 when 
they commence secondary school and become 12 at some point in their 
first year.

There is evidence that Hogwarts follows a similar system:

Angelina turns 17 in the October of her 6th year and Cedric turned 
17 at around the same time. It is admitted that the evidence 
surrounding Cedric is more circumstantial as in the Quidditch World 
Cup chapter of GoF we are told that he is "around" 17. Certainly he 
goes into the 6th year in GoF, and as a good student, would not have 
had to repeat a year, which is in any event relatively rare in 
England. He is definitely 17 prior to the Tri-Wizard tournament as 
otherwise his attempt to enter would have been rejected. 

We know that the Magic Quill writes down the names of all babies 
born with magical ability. It seems to us very unlikely that 
Professor McGonagall would then take children from future years to 
fill up a Hogwarts year group – particularly a Muggle-born witch 
without previous magical experience.

The Defence:

In PoA, Dumbledore calls Harry and Hermione "2 13 year old wizards" –
 canon evidence that Hermione has not yet had her birthday in the 
June.

WB have used the Lexicon timeline which gives Hermione a birthday 
after Harry – this timeline has been approved by Ms Rowling herself.

The Prosecution:

We all know that Dumbledore said that Harry and Hermione were 13 
year olds. But, it was simply unnecessary to lengthen the sentence 
by saying a "13 wizard and 14 year old witch". He knows how old 
Harry is, so he simply generalises.

The timeline? Yes, evidence indeed. But, can we take Ms Rowling's 
word for it given that by her own admission, maths is not shall we 
say her strong point? 

Our guess is that Ms Rowling simply did not make the necessary 
calculations when she accepted Hermione's age. It required Ms 
Rowling to make the connection between the school year and the 
trio's birthdays. Quite simply, she failed to do so.

To counter any arguments about Hermione being a genius and therefore 
allowed into Hogwarts a year early, there is quite simply no 
evidence for such a situation. This does happen occasionally in 
English schools, but it seems incredibly unlikely that Hermione 
would have been able to keep her age a secret – from even her best 
friends - for 5 years without it being remarked upon. It is unusual 
enough for it to have been remarked upon.

We also know that Ms Rowling wishes to revise all the books, 
presumably to eradicate the inconsistencies. Angelina's and Cedric's 
birthdays cannot be changed, but Hermione's is not proved 
conclusively, as yet. So Ms Rowling can still show the real date of 
Hermione's birth.

Hermione is older than Harry.

The Defence:

(Looking towards the defendant to provide comment).

We can only reiterate that Ms Rowling is the creator of the 
Potterverse, as such, her word is Law, even when her word is 
contradictory.


Ms Rowling has confirmed the Lexicon timeline, so Hermione is 
younger than Harry whatever the English school system might be, 
whenever Angelina and Cedric turn 17.


The Judge's summing up:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I ask you to consider the facts. 
Is Ms Rowling's word conclusive? When is canon, canon? Some evidence 
is incontrovertible. Some is not.

In reaching your conclusion, please note that although Ms Rowling is 
said to have agreed the timeline, and therefore, seemingly, 
Hermione's age, the prosecution is submitting that Ms Rowling's 
mathematical ability might have prevented her from realising the 
implications of this statement. On its own therefore, it cannot be 
conclusive. It would seem to contradict at least some of the known 
facts, and just like her statement about Charlie and Bill's 
birthdays, must be taken with a dose of "Wishful thinking" potion.

Clearly, sometimes, Ms Rowling's word cannot be treated as "canon" 
where it contradicts her written word. Even in the books, we have 
seen errors. Make of this what you will.

Ali, realising why she ceased her legal education all those years 
ago - and still unable to accept that Hermione is younger than Harry.