On the other hand (was Re: Disliked Uncle Vernon)

[Doriane]

No: HPFGUIDX 93026

suehpfan wrote:

> 2.   The image of the baby Harry at the Dursley's is a very 
> painful one for me.  I cannot imagine the depravity of two adults 
> in a house with a parentless *baby* not being willing to meet his 
> needs (both physical and emotional).  There is no excuse.  No 
> level of fear creates a situation which can in anyway excuse this 
> behavior.  

Del answers :

I quite disagree with you. I know our western culture has this idea 
that anyone seeing a baby in need will automatically take care of it 
and feel attached to it. But that's simply not true. There are many 
biological mothers who just don't bond with their babies instantly, 
it may take days, weeks or even months, and a few will never manage 
to do it without psychological help. It's still quite a taboo, but 
it's true. And when there are deep negative emotional issues running 
in the mother's life (abuse, rape, abandonment, etc...), the risk of 
her not bonding correctly with her child is even higher.

And when there are as deep emotional issues between foster parents 
and kid as there were between the Dursleys and baby Harry, I'm 
afraid I have to call Dumbledore irresponsible for forcing Harry on 
them without providing any kind of help or support : the probability 
of them not bonding with Harry was so high as to be almost 
inevitable. And it doesn't take an Inner Eye to guess what people 
like the Dursleys do to kids they have to keep but don't like. It 
was obvious from the beginning that things would go wrong, it would 
have taken nothing short of a miracle for Petunia to fall in love 
with her detested and feared and jealoused sister's baby, and that 
miracle didn't happen. I don't blame Petunia.

Suehpfan :

> IMO, the Dursleys are awful.

Del :

In mine, they are Different. They are indeed awful by my moral 
standards, but I have no right to force those standards on them. 
They were landed with a baby whose very idea they hated, and they 
received no help. Not that they would have accepted it, mind you :-
), since they didn't think they needed it.

Suehpfan :

> That said, I would not be surprised if Petunia and Dudley do a 
> little bit to redeem themselves before the end.  Vernon? 
> Impossible.

Del :

I don't see it that way. To redeem themselves, they would have to 
admit they did something wrong. But that would mean they would have 
to change their moral code to start with. That's quite unlikely to 
happen and would feel like cheating to me.

Del