Different moral standards (was : On the other hand)

[Doriane]

No: HPFGUIDX 93209



> Carol "justcarol67" :
> I don't think it's their moral code that differs from most other
> people's. As middle-class British Muggles, they were undoubtedly
> taught the same (Western) values as everyone else in their social
> class.

Del :
There's a difference between being taught and believing. They were 
taught the same values as others, but that doesn't mean they 
accepted them for themselves. We all "pick and choose" what we want 
and like in the morals we are taught.

Carol :
> What I think is "different" about them is a double standard for
> the two boys.

Del :
Most parents do that. It's almost impossible to treat all your kids 
the exact same way. You react differently to all of them, and thus 
treat them differently.

(snip very interesting analysis of the 2 standards applied to Harry 
and Dudley)

Carol :
> They know good from evil. How could they not?

Del :
They know some things are good and some are evil. Everyone does. But 
everyone doesn't agree on which things are good or evil.

Carol :
> They just choose to ignore bend the rules a little
> when it comes to Harry, who is both different from themselves and
> therefore, in their view, not entitled to the same rights and
> privileges, and potentially dangerous, and therefore, in their 
> view, must be kept under control. (I am not trying to defend them, 
> only to analyze their psychology and behavior.)

Del :
Then I'd say they are *adapting* the rules, not ignoring or bending 
them. A bit like a friend of mine has to be much stricter with her 
hyperactive child than with her other children : he needs to keep 
himself under control, and she has to help him by preventing him 
from getting over-excited. It might sound like she's always at him 
sometimes, but she's actually helping him. Yep, that's another 
explanation for the Dursleys' behaviour, though I think it's a 
bit "light" and it doesn't explain why they never showed him any 
love and why they continue to mistreat him now that he's at Hogwarts 
anyway.

> Del: 
> > That's kind of logical. Vernon is the father, the dominant male, 
> > out there to destroy anything that might threaten his mate and 
> > his offspring. Petunia is a female, which by definition means 
> > she has a (very deeply hidden :-) soft spot for young ones.

> Carol:
> This idea that maleness equals domination, femaleness equals
> passivity, gentleness, and submission, seems very far from JKR's 
> own views. 

Del :
Ah, I made a mistake in expressing myself yet again. I meant more 
something like "the protective male". And don't tell me they don't 
exist, you should just see my husband, who's the nicest guy 
otherwise, get all menacing and almost-growling when someone makes a 
menacing move towards me or our son :-)
And I am everything but passive, gentle or submissive :-)

Carol :
> The dominant male concept doesn't hold water in JKR's world (or 
> the RW in which the book was written, either),

Del :
I agree, I agree. Sorry again for the misunderstanding.

Carol :
> I agree with you that the Dursleys fear Harry and that their 
> treatment of him stems from that fear. But as far as I can see, 
> that's the only point we agree on.

Del :
That's already quite a lot :-)

Del