FILK: Improbable

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 93523

Song # 8 from my CoS musical, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to
the Chamber.

Improbable (CoS, Chap. 9)

To the tune of Impossible, from Sondheim's A Funny Thing Happened on 
the
Way to the Forum

Dedicated to the Sensational!Sensational!Gail 

Text and a brief excerpt here (you'll have to scroll down)

http://users.bestweb.net/~foosie/forum.htm

THE SCENE: Another boring lecture from BINNS is interrupted by an 
unexpected  flash of interest
.(DOBBY, uncanonically, serves both as 
Narrator, and second voice for BINNS' exposition) 

HARRY
Why does he bore us so all day?

RON
What makes him teach this dreary way?

DOBBY:
Gives them such exasperation
.

BINNS
In a big Warlock convention
1289, imputable

HARRY
I am in snore-locked distention,
Onward he grinds, immutable

HERMIONE
Sir, a question if you will

DOBBY:
Binns looked shocked and then stood still

HERMIONE:
Can you Chamber info spill?

BINNS (dismissively):
Just a legend 

HERMIONE
Please, don't legends have some grounds
In authentic fact – impeccable?

BINNS:
It's my dogma that this yarn
Is just ludicrous – Implausible

DOBBY (to BINNS) 
But look here, a novelty

(BINNS gazes at a sea of intent faces)

BINNS
Class looks wired

CHORUS OF STUDENTS
Tell us please of secrecy

BINNS:
Very well then, let me see..

ALL (except BINNS)
Plot
Got thickener!

BINNS
One thousand years ago they say
(Though we don't know the exact day)
Hogwarts had its consecration


DOBBY
Our four founders sought out students
To educate – that's factual

BINNS:
Salazar proclaimed that purebloods
Should segregate – that's actual

DOBBY
Salazar then left Hogwarts

BINNS: 
Rumor then makes this report

DOBBY:
Godric's goal he would abort

DOBBY & BINNS
Through his Chamber

BINNS:
It is said that it was sealed
>From light and air – Improbable

DOBBY:
And that no one could unlock it
Save the true heir – Immovable

BINNS:
Hidden horror he'd release

DOBBY:
Into our school

BINNS
Purge Hogwarts of unworthies

BINNS & DOBBY
In a way to make blood freeze

CHORUS OF STUDENTS
The situation's strange!
Danger is in range!
>From hideous
Insidious
Posthumous DEs!

    -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm