What's In It for Snape

[LadySawall at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 98658

Still only about a third of the way through the enormous backlog in my Inbox, 
so please excuse if I've missed someone else making a post that makes any of 
mine redundant...

Apologies also if this post should have a SHIP header, though it's really 
more about a theoretical secret obsession that a relationship per se.

In a message dated 05/01/2004 6:32:15 PM Eastern Daylight Time, 
HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com writes:
This is my (Susan, er... teilani) response:
I'm sure I'm not the only one who's thought of this, but perhaps 
Snape had a crush on Lily. We know James and Severus hated each other 
while they were in school.  We also know SS became an acolyte of LV, 
but what we don't know is why he left LV in the first place.  Could 
it be that maybe he couldn't stomach the idea of killing wizards who 
weren't purebloods, as in, Lily's not a pureblood!  And IIRC, didn't 
that whole episode that HP saw in the penseive happen right in front 
of Lily?!  How humiliating!  That would certainly help explain why he 
didn't want her sticking up for him!

I'm just saying that Harry probably reminds SS about too many things: 
the treatment he received from the Mauraders (particularly when it 
happened in front of Lily), the fact that Harry looks a great deal 
like his father, perhaps even some shame about hooking up with LV in 
the first place...  See where I'm going?  Just a thought.
It's been brought up before, and I think it makes entirely too much sense.  
True, Snape did call Lily a Mudblood, but look at the context--he was being 
humiliated in front of an audience, possibly including other Slytherins, and she 
was not only a Gryffindor, but a muggle-born *girl* to boot.  Imagine how his 
own Housemates would have treated him if he had said or done anything 
different!  Talk about out of the frying pan, into the fire!

I could also make a case for a love/hate sentiment there--he could have been 
attracted to Lily (or even just simply inclined to be grateful for her 
consideration,) but also ashamed, confused, and/or angered by that feeling.  
Pureblood Slytherins aren't *supposed* to like "Mudblood" Gryffindors.

I like the theory though (despite the fact that it's possible to poke some 
significant holes in it, which has also been done before, only I don't recall 
the specifics) because it explains rather neatly a number of things about Snape 
(and possibly other things in the books) that are otherwise puzzling.

Why would a highly intelligent man whose worst childhood enemy is more than a 
decade dead, feel it necessary to mistreat that enemy's son?  Maybe because 
he sees Lily's eyes looking back at him from James' face every day in class, 
reminding him inescapably of the green-eyed children he will never have.  Why 
did he turn from Voldemort?  Maybe because Voldemort threatened Lily--if not her 
life, then all the things that she held dear.  Why go to Dumbledore, instead 
of just Apparating to the furthest possible locale and disappearing?  Maybe 
because Dumbledore was the most likely person to find a way to protect Lily.  
Why did Voldemort tell Lily to stand aside first, instead of killing her out of 
hand?  Maybe because a favored servant requested it of him.

For me, it also puts a slightly different spin on the whole Pensieve scene 
and the question "Been enjoying yourself, Potter?"

As a related aside, I would think it would be difficult to keep in mind, when 
someone else sees one of your personal disturbing memories in a Pensieve, 
that the other person doesn't attach the same meanings to what they see as you 
do.  It's all taken out of context from the rest of your life, and the viewer is 
not privy to the emotions that go with it, only the factual sequence of 
events.

I can imagine Snape meaning a lot more by that question than just "Think it's 
funny that your father and his goons make a fool of me in public?"  He could 
also have been asking, "Think it's funny that your mother defended me?  That I 
liked her?  Or that I was obliged to call her nasty names to avoid being 
lynched by my own House?"

I also think the title of the chapter, "Snape's Worst Memory," is rather 
intriguing, and possibly a hint.  After all, Snape has been almost fed to a 
werewolf, gone through whatever nightmare initiations Voldemort requires of his 
followers, has had to go to Dumbledore hat in hand begging for a second chance, 
and has spent (at that point) twelve or thirteen years in a job he clearly 
hates.  Certainly being upended and jeered at by a bunch of bullies would be a 
horrible experience, but if it literally is his *worst* memory (and by his 
behavior after Harry saw it, it very well could be,) then I can't help but think 
there's something to it beyond the obvious.

It also fits in rather neatly with Snape's virulent hatred of Sirius Black, 
though he admittedly hardly *needs* another reason for that...

Whether or not it turns out to be true in forthcoming books, it makes for 
interesting speculation (and I might add, some rather poignant fanfics.)  ;)

JCS


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