Is Harry feeling guilty for being alive ?

[delwynmarch]

No: HPFGUIDX 117439


While pondering the "Harry doesn't ask questions" thread, I realised
that something could explain a lot of things. I'd already read posts
saying the same kind of thing, but I had never understood them before.

Maybe Harry feels guilty for living, because he feels he killed his
parents who loved him, in order to live.

Before anyone jumps down my throat, I'm NOT saying that Harry *is*
guilty of anything, I'm just saying that he might *feel* that way.

That would be the kind of reaction I would expect from an abused kid,
who learns some difficult things at a critical age. Harry grew up
being told that he was worthless, and then at age 11 he discovers that
his parents died in a fight which he survived. It wouldn't seem
abnormal to me that he would cristalise all the guilt the Dursleys put
on him on this particular event : "I am unworthy because I killed my
parents". It's the kind of twisted conclusions kids often come to.

It could explain a lot of things.

It would explain why he doesn't want to learn about his family (not
just his parents by the way, but also his grandparents and all his
extended family, and even his parents' friends) : because he doesn't
want to remember that his parents died "because of him".

It would explain why he doesn't try to learn more about himself :
because he's afraid of what he might find (things that would somehow
confirm that he killed his parents).

It would explain where a part of his heroism comes from : because he
feels like every other life is more important than his, since he
shouldn't be alive anyway. In his mind, that would be a way of trying
to somehow atone for the sin of killing his parents.

It would explain why he's feeling so bad over the Prophecy. "Kill or
be killed" would remind him of what he feels he *already* did.

It would partly explain why he's so angry in OoP : because he reacted
badly to Cedric's death, and why at the same time he never dwells on
it but dreamed of it many times : because the guilt is unbearable.

And the list goes on.

That might also be one of the reasons Sirius had to die : so that this
guilt will finally come out in the open and be dealt with.

The next question would be : why did JKR make him feel guilty to start
with ? There could be many reasons, but I can think of 2 main ones.

1. So that he doesn't ask questions she doesn't want answered yet.

2. So that he starts saving people. As SSSusan said, feeling good
about something is a positive reinforcement, but Harry had to have a
reason to start saving people. This guilt (or rather its consequence :
the will to redeem himself) would be it. But now that he knows he's
The One, now that he knows his friends will never desert him, now that
he knows that he *can* fight LV and his DEs (even if he still has a
mighty lot to learn), he doesn't need that guilt anymore : he's got
more realistic reasons to engage in the war. In fact, IMO that guilt
would be an obstacle in his fight. Harry needs to make decisions based
on real solid reasons and facts, not on an irrational guilt. And I
feel that in order for his Power (whatever it is) to be totally
effective, in order for Harry to really vanquish LV, he has to fight
with conscious motives and a clear mind.

Del