Plot in OotP

[justcarol67]

No: HPFGUIDX 118122


Hickengruendler wrote:
> > 
> > In a few recent posts, I read the opinion by some posters, that 
> OotP has let Plot than the previous books. I  think OotP was a very
well plotted book, with one incident consequently leading to another.
> 
-carolcaracciolo wrote:
> 
> My biggest gripe with OOTP was not necessarily that JKR had left 
> dots unconnected but with the WAY she connected them.  The dialogue, 
> in many spots, seemed stilted, awkward and, as Aura so aptly put 
> it, "soapy."  It just didn't feel like JKR was as "in touch" with 
> her characters as she was in previous novels.  Like I said in my 
> previous post, the novel feels like a foggy memory.  The writing was 
> not NEARLY as compelling as her previous work.  The device of "the 
> near-miss" death scenes added a cheesy-ness (is that a word?) that I 
> would NEVER dream of attributing to JKR.  I was left feeling 
> disappointed with what I viewed as a lack of craftsmanship.  Maybe 
> more time and another re-write would have helped?  Does JKR work 
> with the same editor for each book?  I really hope HBP hits the high 
> notes that GoF did...
> 
> Carol
> Now feeling very dejected...and wanting to re-read GoF in the worst 
> way!

Carol (justcarol) responds:
I liked Hickengruendler's cause/effect connections, which the other
Carol snipped, yet somehow I agree with Carol C. that OoP is awkward
and less compelling than the previous books. It's too long, for one
thing, and as Del was saying a few weeks ago, Harry is, well, too full
of anger, too unreasonable, for many readers to identify or sympathize
with. (I think its Voldie's venomous influence as well as Harry's own
burdens and frustrations, but that doesn't mean that I enjoy seeing
him depicted as a self-righteous bully.)

I wouldn't call the dream where Arthur is attacked by a snake and
nearly dies "cheesy"; near-deaths can be moving and this one did move
the plot forward, with Harry's fear of possession, Bode's plant, and a
chance to glimpse Alice Longbottom. (I hope that Alice the dog-faced
woman was not just a Mark Evans, dropped in as a bit of background.) 

My problem wit OoP is that there's just too much to remember, and the
time frame isn't really clear. (I think Neri has made too much of the
missing five hours of Snape's time on the night of the DoM
battle--after all, Harry can't know what Snape was doing and we have
DD's word that Snape acted as quickly as he could--but the fact that
there seems to be a discrepancy between the time frame for Snape and
the time frame for Harry does seem to suggest that JKR didn't set up a
chart or outline so that *she* knew what Snape was doing. It's like
the carelessness regarding wands in the graveyard scene of GoF: How
can Harry be holding his wand *and* the portkey in one hand and
dragging Cedric's body with the other? Only in OoP, that carelessness
or confusion is more extensive. In the MoM scene, for example, it's
very hard to tell what's going on. Harry's confusion (not knowing
which DE is which in many cases, or what spell is being cast) is
reflected by the narrator and consequently becomes the reader's 
confusion. The cleaning scenes with the doxies were just (IMO) boring,
and I can't stand Umbridge or Grawp.

And yet OoP is full of treasures, glimpses into the past that we
haven't seen in other books (via Occlumency), hints at the future
(Mrs. Weasley's boggart). JKR's usual balance of tension and humor is
there, too--Lockhart in St. Mungo's and the twins with their swamp.

I loved GoF, with its realistic quarrels among the friends and real
tragedy, or rather pathos, with poor Cedric, and the close-up glimpses
of Voldemort as he became, if not "greater and more terrible than
ever," at least more real and more threatening, if it weren't for
Harry's luck in the matter of the brother wands. OoP was disappointing
as a sequel.

I hope that HBP is better; shorter, more tightly and carefully
plotted, more action-filled, more capable of arousing the reader's
sympathies. And I hope it begins to answer our questions about
everyone from Snape to Grindelwald, and especially about Godric's
Hollow. I wonder, though, if we'll ever find out what happened during
those missing twenty-four hours, or whether JKR even knows that
they're missing.

Carol, hoping that other list members can tell from the writing style
or the Yahoo ID which Carol is which