FILK: Chudley Cannons

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 114585


Chudley Cannons (QTA, Chap. 7)

To the tune of Bosom Buddies, from Jerry Herman's Mame

Dedicated to all of your poor suffering Chicago Cubs fans (notice 
that the Cannons and Cubs have the same initials)

THE SCENE: Two loyal Cannons fan celebrate(?) their team and its 
chronic misfortunes

BOTH
We root for the Chudley Cannons,
To the bitter end
We'll cheer on the Chudley Cannons,
They're last in the league, so
They don't have big egos.

FIRST FAN
Though their brooms are as slow as turtles

SECOND FAN
Though each game will be lost

BOTH
In spite of that, for our team, the Chudley Cannons
We'll keep keeping our fingers crossed.

SECOND FAN (spoken)
Tho' now and again we may think that our Quidditch opponents might 
lose

FIRST FAN (spoken)
Tho' sometimes some false expectations might rise
That it's going to be at last our year:
"The championship will naturally be ours."

SECOND FAN (spoken):
Until the season actually begins, then hope dies

[singing]
But oh well,
BOTH:
We'll cheer for the Chudley Cannons
SECOND FAN:
Our heroes
FIRST FAN:
In orange
BOTH:
Though they have us agonizing
SECOND FAN:
Being the chronic dwellers
BOTH:
In the Quidditch cellar
SECOND FAN:
Though they may rarely catch the Quaffle or win it with the Snitch
In spite of that, we'll root for the Chudley Cannons
Our loyalties will not be switched. 

FIRST FAN: [speaking]  
Each time that their critics have written, "The Cannons can't get any 
worse,"
Right straightaway they're proved incorrect
That's when we pull up our bootstraps and each man on the team grits 
his teeth
And we say, "Let's give `em something they'll never expect!"
[singing]
We get worse!

SECOND FAN:
So be off with your Falmouth Falcons
Likewise, your Magpies
It's simply that we root for the Chudley Cannons
Though half our players cannot fly.

FIRST FAN:
[speaking]
I feel it's my duty to tell you it's no longer 1892
We cannot say "We Shall Conquer" when we constantly flub.
Exactly whose team are we most like? Let's think!
SECOND FAN:
Well, what teams do you think?
FIRST FAN:
I'd say somewhere in between the `62 Mets and the `04 Cubs!
BOTH:
[singing]
But really
SECOND FAN:
Holyhead may end up ahead
The Wasps may really sting
Puddlemere may stay United
And the Kenmare Kestrals
Fly faster than thestrals. 
FIRST FAN:
And though they say that speed and power makes a team finish first,
In spite of that, we cheer for the Chudley Cannons
Although we no doubt are perverse
BOTH:
We cheer for the Chudley Cannons
`Cause we're pessimistic
And quite masochistic
But we just ignore the abuse
Remember that who else but the Chudley Cannons
No offense or defense 
You know in advance they will lose!

   -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
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