The Dursleys and Harry: Neglect or abuse? (Was: SPOILERS. . .)

[justcarol67]

No: HPFGUIDX 115027


annegirl11 wrote:
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> > So, this Petunia-DD letter thing! Interesting! Maybe Petunia did
get an invitation letter to Hogwarts? <snip>

Carol responds:
Surely if she'd had a letter to Hogwarts, she'd have gone there and
learned witchcraft rather than being jealous of Lily? Her parents were
proud of having a witch in the family. Wouldn't they have been equally
proud of both girls if both were witches? But JKR has firmly and
frequently said that Petunia is a Muggle, and Muggles don't get
Hogwarts letters.
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annegirl11 wrote:
> > I think this was an older question, but I noticed that Jo answered
a q, "What is your advice for kids who are being bullied." Her answer
is an emphatic, "TELL SOMEONE." <snip>

Carol responds:
Is this advice in an interview somewhere? I can't find it on her site.
(BTW, it sounds as if she doesn't approve of the traditional British
public school/Hogwarts stiff upper lip philosophy of enduring
hardships without complaining--all those "bracing" remarks from Fred
and George, etc. And yet Hogwarts students *do* need to endure
hardship because life in the WW is difficult and dangerous and no one
does anything about students bullying and hexing each other. Maybe
Umbridge's quill takes bullying too far? (And how about Apollyon
Pringle, Filch's predecessor, who punished Arthur so severely that he
still has the marks? Should Arthur have "told someone" in JKR's view?
Or should he have maintained a stiff upper lip as Harry does with
Umbridge? Does JKR consider the silent endurance of suffering a kind
of courage? If so, how does that fit with "tell someone"? Or maybe her
advice to kids in the RL differs from what she considers admirable in
the WW?

distaiyi wrote:
It still irritates me, though, that the Dursley's abuse is ignored and
protected by the books. <snip> When it comes to "Harry" at home, given
that this is his only home, I think she is treading quite nicely the
line between abuse and disfunction and where a child needs to be
removed from a home. He is safe, clothed, and fed but not loved. There
are lots of kids who are far worse off who don't get taken out of
their homes. If anyone here can come up with a good, fair demarcation
of when a child is abused enough to be taken out of a home you'll go
down in history... 

Carol responds:
They also keep him in a cupboard under the stairs, complete with
spiders, at least till he receives his Hogwarts letters. Now, granted,
he has an advantage over Ron in that he's learned to endure spiders,
but the Dursleys' treatment of him is not exactly the ideal
child-rearing method, nevertheless. And they make him share Dudley's
grapefruit diet (though admittedly, Vernon and Petunia do, too--I'm
betting Vernon cheats on it at work.) Still, he isn't beaten or
subjected to punishments of the sort that, say, Victorian children had
to endure. Setting aside the snide remarks that the Dursleys
occasionally make about his parents, which again take us into the grey
area of emotional abuse, maybe he's neglected by the Dursleys rather
than abused?

Carol, who is reminded of Rousseau's cold bath philosophy in "Emile"