Harry : compassion vs saving-people thing

justcarol67 justcarol67 at yahoo.com
Fri Oct 8 23:01:55 UTC 2004


No: HPFGUIDX 115234


Pippin wrote:
> The definition as Del is applying it is too narrow for me.True, 
> Harry is not much, yet, on providing emotional support. He's  
> been able to get by, though not happily, with amazingly little of it 
> himself, so it's not surprising that he'd have problems relating to 
> this need in other people. 
> 
> But "suffering" is not only  emotional and "wanting to do 
> something about it" need not be limited to providing emotional 
> support. Would anyone really say that the researcher who puts in 
> long and lonely hours to find a cure for a disease or the 
> philanthropist who "gives till it hurts" aren't aware of others'
> pain and willing to suffer themselves to alleviate it? Isn't that 
> compassion too?

Carol responds:
Maybe it's not that Harry doesn't feel compassion, he just can't
express it in words. Apparently (like many men, and maybe boys as
well), he feels more comfortable taking action to solve a problem than
talking about it and sharing feelings. Even men who know how to listen
and give comfort with a hug (neither being Harry's forte) are often at
a loss for words when a woman or child is expressing emotional pain,
much less admitting or expressing their own grief and fear. (Anger,
though, is "manly" and can, they think, safely be expressed.) I
suppose it's partly the way boys are brought up, and, of course,
Harry's own upbringing would reinforce the tendency to keep his
unhappiness hidden. (Also, he can endure suffering better than many
people because he's used to deprivation. Neither darkness nor spiders
scares him, which may partly explain why his reaction to the Forbidden
Forest differs so dramatically from Ron's or Draco's and why he has so
little empathy for Ron's fear of spiders.)

None of this means that Harry, especially as he becomes a bit older,
is wholly incapable of compassion or empathy. He recognizes Neville's
pain with regard to the fate of his parents, even understands that it
some ways Neville's position is worse than his own, but there's
nothing he can *do* about it, and he has absolutely no idea what to
*say*. By the same token, he's helpless in the face of Cho's torrent
of tears over Cedric's death and her own tangled feelings of
attraction to Harry and disloyalty to Cedric. The best he can manage
is a "wet" kiss (funnier from an adult perspective than a child's). He
can't give her what she really wants, a listening ear and words
expressing understanding and validation of her feelings, not even
"It's okay, Cho, I understand"--because he doesn't. But in the face of
physical suffering and danger to others, when action is not only
possible but seems right and necessary and no comforting words are
required, Harry's compassion finds an outlet--"saving people,"
rescuing them from physical pain or danger, the only kind that he can
fully grasp, the only kind that can be dealt with by *doing something.*

Think of great surgeons with a terrible bedside manner. They want to
*fix* the problem, not talk about it or listen to someone else talk
about it. It's the disease, not the patient's feelings about the
disease, that they perceive as the problem. Remove the cancerous
tumor; end the problem; move on to the next patient. And laboratory
research to find a cure for cancer is even more impersonal. Yes, it's
good and necessary and admirable, but it doesn't require compassion on
a personal level. It doesn't require holding the hand of a patient
whose cancer is inoperable and listening to her express her fears and
finding words that will comfort her without dismissing her fear and
suffering. Much easier, really, if you have keen eyes and a steady
hand, to operate on a different patient who can be saved.

I'm not dismissing or ridiculing Harry's "saving people complex," only
trying to distinguish it from a more intuitive compassion that is
surely rare in the WW. Hermione can see and explain Cho's feelings to
an uncomprehending Harry, but would even she be able to comfort Cho
(who, of course, wants that comfort from a boy she likes, not another
girl)? Would Lupin, who perhaps understands Harry better than anyone
else, be able to express that understanding in words? Would Harry be
receptive if he did? How would Neville react if Harry came up to him
and said, "I, erm, I'm sorry about your parents?" Would Neville just
nod and say "Thanks" and that would be the end of it because there's
no way to *do something* about the Longbottoms' plight? Or would the
conversation end with a futile quest for vengeance? Better to remain
silent and take action where action is possible.

Carol, rather surprised at the direction this post has taken and not
at all sure that she's right in her analysis of Harry







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