[HPforGrownups] Re: Sirius' death (was: Dept of Mysteries Veil Room)

[kim reynolds]

No: HPFGUIDX 115245



>Nora wrote:
>And no matter what any of us think about him, Harry loved him deeply, and he loved Harry; and I think he had a lot to offer, in both that capacity and in others. 

>Magda replied:

>Did Harry love Sirius deeply?  How could he?  Harry barely knew the man.  He spent 9/10's of POA thinking he was the traitor who caused his parents' deaths and he was sure that he hated him then.  In GOF he communicated with him by owl or met him in a cave with Ron and Hermione present.  In OOTP, Harry was too intimidated by Sirius' mood and Mrs. Weasley's crankiness to be alone with him and spent (way too much) time dedoxying the drapes.  

>Only once did they bond as godfather/mentor-godson/mentee: in GoF when they talked through the fireplace and Harry told Sirius all about the dragon task, and fighting with Ron and Sirius was sympathetic and didn't stress Harry out with "I'll be right there!"
tendencies.  

>Harry loved the idea of having a godfather who was his and there for him alone.  Sirius loved the idea of having a godson and fulfilling the role he thought he'd lost 15 years earlier.  But they weren't together long enough or often enough for them to have a relationship in the present time.

Now Kim R. adds:

Both Nora and Magda make good observations, though I think I might lean more in Nora's direction about this.  Here's what I see: Looking at it psychologically from Harry's point of view, maybe all it took for Harry to "bond" with Sirius was first, finding out that someone he thought had betrayed his parents actually hadn't (in addition to finding out that that person had broken out of Azkaban to find the real traitor and to protect Harry from potential harm); and second, finding out that the newly-found non-traitor (sorry for the lousy English there) was his godfather (i.e. a relative, in a sense), not to mention his murdered parents' closest friend (of course, he found out Sirius was his godfather before he found out Sirius wasn't a traitor).  Despite the lack of time spent with Sirius, for a boy as bereft as Harry, a bond with Sirius might well have formed quickly and deeply.  It's partly (or perhaps mainly?) the loss of his parents at such a tender age and the deep emotional scar
 that that must have caused, plus the loss of his father as a role model, guide, etc. that would make Sirius so attractive and important to Harry. Who knows what the time period required for bonding really is?  Babies are supposed to bond pretty much instantly with their mothers, aren't they?  So losing Sirius so soon was in a way like losing his parents all over again.  He'd hardly known them either and they were gone.  Not only gone, but gone by violent means.  He'd hardly got a chance to know Sirius, he was looking forward to someday living with him (translate: finally having a family of his own), and poof, Sirius is gone too.  I'm surprised Harry isn't a basketcase as a result.

Kim