FILK: Hop on a New Arrow

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 115311


Hop on a New Arrow (QTA, Chap. 9)

To the tune of Open a New Window, from Jerry Herman's Mame

THE SCENE: A century of aerodynamic broomstick progress is 
commemorated.

LEONARD JEWKES:
Hop on a new Arrow
Hop on and then soar,
Travel at such high speeds 
That no one has flown before
Before you had just a Moontrimmer,
Maybe an Oakshaft,
Neither of which can cope
With superior magic craft
The broomstick you ought to fly has high velocity
Touching the sky yet in control
And flyers can now advance their virtuosity  
Here is the broom that you'll extol
.

BOB, BILL & BARNABY OLLERTON:

..And show 'em how to fly on a new Cleansweep
Whiz on a new broom
Swoop on a new standard
Old models shall be consumed
There's only one broom that evermore will bloom
Simply leap on a new Cleansweep
An Arrow is too narrow
Savor the new Cleansweep's sonic boom!

BILL OLLERTON
If you play in a Quidditch team
This is a vow I'm certain of
That by the last game of the year
You'll be swapping your old broomsticks
For a Cleansweep that you will love,
And you'll dodge the deadly Bludger
And you always catch the Quaffle
For I promise you your speed'll be
A rate your foes call "awful

"

RANDOLPH KEITCH & BASIL HORTON
Climb on a new Comet
Come see how it brakes
For we need not comment
That it doesn't make mistakes
So take your Cleansweep and old Arrow 
Straight to the pawn shop
Our Comet will soar higher
And than on a Knut could stop. 
The broomstick you ought to fly has high velocity
Touching the sky yet in control
The broomsticks of old are now mere curiosities
We have the broom that you'll extol
.

NIMBUS MANUFACTURER
And show 'em how to nimbly fly Nimbus
Try it when you play
Only a pure Nimrod 
Will disregard what we say
There's only one broom that gives the rest no room,
Simply fly it into the fray
Smash all the old records
Hop on a new Nimbus when you play!

ALL:
Hop on a new broomstick
Hoping for success
Innovation and risk 
Will bring about great progress
Unless you find it's a dull failure,
Like Ellerbie's Swiftstick,
The Twigger of Flite-Baker
And all of its trite gimmicks
The progress of which you hear is irresistible,
It is the swift, winning the race
The genius which we possess is inexhaustible ,
We are the men setting the pace.

And show 'em how to fly on a new broomstick
Climbing to new heights
Looking to a future 
Where everything's bold and bright
To feel alive you need to truly strive
So get airborne on your arrow,
Sweep on a new Cleansweep
Come to a new Comet
Nimbly with Nimbus,
Hire a Firebolt when you play!

   - CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm 
(updated today: 41 new filks, two new musicals!)