[HPforGrownups] Re: In defense of Hermione (was: Almost normal)

[annegirl11 at juno.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 115433

Feklar said:
> Hermione is ambitious,liberal and pro-active.  
> Ron may be likeable enough, but he is 
> hidebound and a slacker and proud of it.

15-year-old boys are a helluva lot less mature than 15-year-old girls,
especially overachieving 15-going-on-25 girls like Hermione. I have no
doubt that Ron will *grow into* a resonsible, socially conscious,
motivated young man; I think he'll probably turn out a lot like his
father. 

However, right now he does have latent tendencies of the man he'll
become. He wouldn't be Gryffendor if he wasn't brave, noble, and loyal;
he wouldn't be hanging around Harry if he didn't have White Hat
tendencies (ie a drive to save the world - he did volunteer to help
Hagrid with Buckbeak's trial); he wouldn't be friends with a smart girl
like Hermione if he couldn't keep up, intellectually, even just in
conversation. 

It's the Willow and Xander thing. Smart, socially awkward girl crushing
on her sweet, friendly childhood friend; irresponsible but ultimaltly
decent guy overlooking that smart girls are sexy - but the guy always
figures it out eventually. 

It's the Homer and Marge thing, too, and explains why Ron and Hermione
aren't precisely opposites-attract: "Our differences are only skin-deep,
but our sames go right to the core." Their overall value systems,
backgrounds, even their outwardly engaging personalities are similar.

> He has demonstrated no interest in even  hearing
> about the alternatives, much less in reaching compromise.

He's a kid. Plus, boys aren't particularly good at conversation. He'll
grow out of it. 

>  This means they
> will almost always be in conflict or they will simply be ignoring 
> each other and doing their own thing 

I think one thing's for sure: Ron and Hermione will never just exist in
proximity to each other and not engage. They bait each other, challenge
each other. Their bickering is how they connect. 

> I also have to wonder how someone as money-conscious as Ron would 
> deal with dating someone who not only came from a wealthier background,
but 
> who also has the skills and drive to be successful and highly paid in 
> whatever career she chose.

1. We don't know that much about Hermione's background. I suspect they're
both middle-class (Hermione perhaps a bit more upper-middle), but the
Grangers only have one child to provide for. 2. Because of the reasons I
listed above, I believe when Ron grows up, he'll find a perfectly
respectable and decently-paying job.

>  How would Ron react to having his wife promoted above 
> him and earning more money?

He likes her when she's smarter than him and gets better grades; he'll
like her fine if she makes more money. The WW isn't gender-biased the way
the MW is. I don't see Ron freaking out because his wife makes more.

This reminds me of another reason why they work: they bring out the best
in each other. Hermione encourages Ron to be more ambitious and
successful, Ron reminds Hermione that there is more to the world than the
stuff in books. In terms of literary couples (especially with JKR being
an Austin fan), balanced couples are a sure thing.

> Ron has been taken care of his entire life by
> his mother or HG house elves. 

By that logic, Hermione is taken care of by her mother and the house
elves. If anyhting, Ron is more independant, b/c I doubt Molly can give
all seven children as much doting care as Mrs. Granger can give one
child. Generally, kids of big families learn to take care of themselves
and each other. 

> Given his  tendency to
> think the things he learned growing up are the way things are, I 
> really think he would expect to be taken care of much as his mother
took 
> care of him and his father.

Molly runs the household, she isn't a slave. We may not have canon proof
of this, but I really don't see Molly picking up every kids' socks and
doing the dishes every night. Kids in big families have to do chores,
simply out of necesity. 

Furthermore, are you saying that R/Hr wouldn't work because Ron would
expect Hermione to take care of him? Even if that's true, he wouldn't be
the first husband to have that unrealistic expectation, and she wouldn't
be the first wife to argue and bicker and let the mess pile up until her
husband figured out that she isn't going to be his maid. That's one of
those small issues that all couples have to work through when they get
married.

Anyway, who says they have to get married? They're 15 year olds with a
mutual crush.

Aura

~*~
"But what we found out is that each one of us really is a brain, a hero,
a sidekick, a basket case, and a brat. But that's not all we are. We
don't know who we are yet. But every day we'll find another piece of us.
Does that answer your question?"
- "The Hogwarts Breakfast Club"
(Harry/Claire, Hermione/Brian, Draco/Bender, Ron/Andrew, Luna/Allison)