RADIO TBAY The Rolling Cannon

[potioncat]

No: HPFGUIDX 115639


 

Walter Flykite: Welcome to another episode of Mysterious Mysteries 
and Where They May be Found.  This afternoon we are at Hogwarts to 
learn all about cannon thumping. Legend tells us that only the 
Rolling Canon can predict true love, reveal secrets, and
foreshadow
 erm foretell events.  Professor Dumbledore has
offered 
the services of two Gryffindor prefects to demonstrate the famous 
Rolling Cannon to us.  Here we are, high above the castle in the 
tallest of the towers. 

I must say, Fans, it is beautiful up here! In the middle of the 
tower is a statue of a Hogwarts student.  Can't tell if it's
a boy or girl but it's wearing Hogwarts robes and holding a set of
books and a wand.  The face is sort of blurry. Can't tell who it
supposed to be. The base says, "The Good Slytherin."

Hermione Granger: This statue is particularly interesting!  No one 
knows who it is and sometimes it's not even here. 

Walter Flykite: Let's get started.  I see three cannons, which
one is it?

Hermione Granger: The cannons move around.  Each time you come with 
a question, you have to make certain you're asking the Rolling 
Cannon.  The other cannons can be very misleading.

Ron Weasley: Here's the Initial Cannon. 

Walter Flykite: [chuckling] But if they move around, this one 
wouldn't always be the first cannon would it?  

Ron Weasley: Maybe not, but it would still be the Initial Cannon.  
See right here are the initials IIRC.

Walter Flykite: IIRC? What does that mean?

Hermione Granger: If I recall correctly, it's the initials of the 
person who cast the cannon.

Walter Flykite: Don't be ridiculous.  You can cast a spell but
you can't cast a cannon.  How does this cannon work?

Ron Weasley: It's hard to say, mostly people who come here sit 
around wondering about new questions without really deciding 
anything and it seems to depend upon how good a person's memory
is. It's never really worked out until someone goes over and
thumps
the Rolling Cannon.

Walter Flykite: Look at this cannon it has pictures on it. [Sound of 
something heavy moving, a thud and a gasp by interviewer]  Oops!  
This is a loose canon.

Hermione Granger: Yes that's the Moving Picture Cannon. 

Walter Flykite: All pictures move, silly girl.  What are these?

Ron Weasley: These pictures show three years at Hogwarts.  At least 
we think they do.  It was just this summer that the third year 
appeared.

Walter Flykite: Who is this?

Hermione Granger: Professor Snape.  And that's Professor
McGonagall.

Walter Flykite: Not quite what I expected them to look like.

Hermione Granger: Well, that's the thing
this cannon
doesn't give you quite what you expect.  It's all right to a
point, 
and very entertaining, but not completely accurate.

Walter Flykite: Who are these students holding toads?

Ron Weasley: I've no idea!  Nothing like that ever happened here
but I bet Neville would be interested. 

Walter Flykite: Oh, look at this
it's an empty base for a
cannon with a large crest on each side.  That's the Hufflepuff 
crest,isn't it?

Ron Wesley: Hufflepuff, yes.  This is a carriage, just like under 
the other cannons.  It's the only one with the crest.

Walter Flykite: Look, it changed from Hufflepuff House to Slytherin 
House!  Now it's turning again to Gryffindor House!

Hermione Granger: We call this the Changing House.  But there's
no cannon for it.

Walter Flykite: Then this must be the Rolling Cannon!  Oh look, 
here's a big web.

Ron Weasley: Stop!  Don't bother that.  It's an important
part of the Rolling Cannon!

Walter Flykite: A web and a cannon?  How does this work?

Hermione Granger: You think of a question, then you thump the 
cannon.  If you're correct it rolls forward, and if not, it rolls 
backward and if your question is too uncertain, it just sits there. 
Or sometimes, instead of the cannon moving, a butterfly will come 
out if you're on the right track.

Ron Weasley: Or a spider if you're wrong.

Walter Flykite: OK, let's ask it a question.  Erm, I know! Will 
Hermione Granger marry Ron Weasley?   Now, now girl don't blush. 
It's just a question.  Lets see, I'll give it a good thump
right here.  Oh my, it moved!  Was that forward or backward?

Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley: It didn't move at all!

Walter Flykite: What's going on here?

Hermione Granger: That's the cannon's one weakness.  Everyone
sees it differently.

Walter Flykite: Hmm, well.  I see.  Well that's all the time we
have 
today, Fans. Join us next week for a tour of  Droobles Best Blowing 
Gum factory. Lots of mysteries floating around that place!