Fudge

[Barry Arrowsmith]

No: HPFGUIDX 116046

The name says it all.
"Huh, typical politician then" is the standard reaction.
It all depends on the quality of your politicians, I suppose.
Because let's remember that Fudge *is* just a politician; he's not 
ruler, Head of State, Prime Minister or anything really important; he's 
a Minister running one Ministry that  has various sub-sections that are 
staffed by wizards -  not the most practical or efficient people in the 
world.

To whom does the Minister and the Ministry owe allegiance?
In the RW he would have to take an oath to the Crown, swearing to 
support her heirs and assigns - but somehow I don't see that green 
bowler hat trudging across Parliament Square.

(Mind you, I did once posit that the Queen is Ruler of the WW - in 
England anyway - her remote ancestor was placed on the throne by 
Merlin, her children went to some weird school in Scotland and she only 
has to say one word and personages are elevated,  bridges open and 
ships slide into the sea. Magic! You don't really think that  thing is 
a sceptre, do you? Nah - it's an Ollivander special.)

Fudge is a  shining example of the Peter Principle - "In every 
hierarchy, each employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence; 
every post tends to be filled by an employee incompetent to execute its 
duties."  He wanted the job, and got it, but he's no bloody good. But 
have you considered that that is exactly the reason why he did get the 
job?

Another of my whimsical maunderings - Barty Crouch Snr. was efficient 
verging on brutal; the WW equivalent of a hanging judge -  and hot 
favourite to  be Minister.  Appear before him charged with being, or 
associating with DEs  and you might as well take your toothbrush with 
you, 'cos next stop would be Azkaban. And since Voldy had departed for 
an indeterminate vacation on the Costa del Adriatic, gnashing his 
non-existent dentures and scaring the hell out of the local rodentia, 
thus no longer offering DEs visions of a life of ease, swigging the  
odd Butterbeer during breaks in the arduous round of Muggle torturing, 
Elf flogging and other pursuits beloved of their ilk, this naturally 
was a cause for concern (and major bowel upsets) for those with their 
freedom at stake.

To such as Malfoy it was all a bit of a frost. Only one thing to do, 
get rid of Crouch and replace him with someone a bit more, well, 
flexible, might be the word. And guess what? - they've got just the 
chap stashed away in a backroom at the Ministry. Ambitious, not too 
bright, amenable.

So Barty Jnr is shopped along with a few DEs that are already under 
suspicion. Two possible outcomes - either Crouch goes easy on his son - 
in which case scream "Nepotism!" and give him the elbow, or - he'll go 
hard on his son, in which case start a whispering campaign about 
megalomaniac fanatics who'll  end up throwing *everybody* in goal. 
Since Crouch was on the slide in the popularity stakes anyway,  this is 
the way it turned out.  Fudge is in - and almost immediately starts to 
wind down the DE witch-hunt (or wizard-hunt, or whatever). "War over, 
forgive and forget, heal the wounds, rehabilitated, blemish on a page 
of our history, brighter future," - all the usual political crap. 
Mission accomplished. Only one small snag - Fudge owes them, and one 
day they'll arrive with the bill.

By  dint of co-opting DD as unofficial (and probably unwilling) 
advisor, Fudge manages to cope quite well. Until young Potter grows up 
and enters Hogwarts. Coincidentally(?) it's about this time that dear, 
departed Voldy  starts getting his act together. He makes a brief 
come-back tour - which  is not an immediate success, that little 
toe-rag Potter being the Diptera in the unguent  - again! But it's a 
sign that the  Glorious Leader is still around and vaguely kicking. 
Right. Prevention is better than cure. Get rid of Potter. Best option - 
make it look like an accident. How? Well, there's this prisoner in 
Azkaban; something funny about him and the Potters. Spring him, let 
loose the Dementors, ostensibly to catch him, but in fact they're 
ordered to nail young Potter instead, and Bilius is your uncle. Fudge 
is put to work.

Nearly succeeds, too.
Ah, well. Maybe next time.

Because there will be a next time. Voldy is stirring, believing that 
third time's a charm. Unfortunately he's developed this obsession about 
Potter - puts him right at the top of his "to do" list. But this is to 
be just a warm-up, a gentle work-out before really flexing his wand  
and taking over the lot.

Fudge is presented with the second part of the bill. Deny that Voldy's 
returned. Mock Potter, DD, anyone who says otherwise. Purge the 
Ministry, take over Hogwarts, isolate and emasculate anyone who doesn't 
toe the line. Voldy needs to consolidate, he needs a bit of time, time 
to gather his old buddies, time to burrow deep into the system. And if 
there's one thing bureaucrats understand, it's delay. Delay is the 
deadliest form of denial, so the old saying goes - and Fudge does his 
best for those that own him.

It ain't enough.
Almighty cock-up at the Ministry.
It's not Fudge's fault - but guess who'll get hammered anyway - from 
both sides.

Kneasy