Harry, his emotions, and why he ends up with Ginny Weasley

[Freud]

No: HPFGUIDX 116086



Regarding Harry and his emotional state....when Harry yelled at Ron 
and Hermoine it seemed quite wonderful to me. They are the closest 
thing he has to real family, and most people will show their worst 
side to their family, especially brothers and sisters because of 
the "family is safety" factor.  The fact that he actually was 
willing to show them his anger was an indication that he did feel 
safe with them.  

I honestly don't know how anyone can expect Harry to be nicer or to 
behave differently than he does after the horrendous experiences he 
has had.  It is amazing that he has the emotional control he does. 

Harry takes abuse again and again and still rises above it.  After 
the Dursleys, Umbridge and Snape, and the Malfoys, Death Eaters and 
Voldemort, jealous and envious peers, the lack of normal privacy and 
the continual public humiliation he endures on a daily basis - 
wouldn't most people crack up completely?  And when he does finally 
find a person who could technically be considered "real family" - it 
turns out to be a prison fugitive on the run who can't provide a 
proper home for Harry.  (But notice Harry was eager to live with him 
anyway!)
 
Honestly - how much is Harry supposed to take without going bonkers?

Harry is so used to abuse that I think it has actually become his 
comfort zone.  For example, Harry actually allowed Umbridge to 
torture him.  Why? This is the kid who defeated Voldemort!  Yet he 
allows this crazy teacher to torture him?  He could have blown her 
out the window too!  But he didn't.   

It is chilling that Harry refused to reveal this abuse to an 
appropriate person who could have stopped it.  Mcgonagall for 
example.  But is is also very typical of an abused mindset to take 
abuse and not reveal it.   Harry tells himself he would rather prove 
to Umbridge he could endure it rather than ask for help.  But this 
isn't a "healthy" mental response - I felt so sad for Harry when he 
allowed her to treat him that way.  My heart really went out to him 
in that situation.   

I think his friend Ron dropped the ball somewhat by not getting 
Harry some real help with Umbridge.  I like Ron, but there are times 
when I think he should take action and he just doesn't.   

Harry is so used to being denied comfort and security that he 
actually feels nomal when he is being tortured in some way.   
I personally think this is why he doesn't ask for help in this 
situation or many others.  I also think this is why he lets his 
friendship with Ron deteriorate the way it did. 

Harry endures more pressure than any normal person could possibly 
endure in his life.  And he doesn't have reliable adult role models 
who remain emotionally close to him to guide him.  When he has grown 
close to someone and relied on them they vanish, or they distance 
themselves or behave very "teacher-ish" with him, or simply stop 
talking to him.  

Snape really ticks me off.  Harry was actually forced to be in a 
situation where Snape got to see the real Harry up close and 
personal, but Snape gives him no credit at all.  Snape actually SAW 
the many ways that Harry was belittled and abused, and he STILL 
feels compelled to ridicule him in class.  What is wrong with that 
man?  After his own trials as a teenager, Snape ought to know 
better.  All these people in the forums who make excuses for Snape 
and even worship Snape - wake up -please! How does becoming a bully 
erase the pain of being bullied?  Snape, in my opinion, is nothing 
more than an insensitive, cowardly jerk who hides behind Dumbledores 
skirts.    DD is his only chance for survival.  DD has patience for 
misfits.  Voldemort does not.   

Sooo....since the adults in his life are crazier or more pre-occuped 
than he is, this leaves Harry completely on his own. Harry has to 
parent himself most of thetime and he does a better job with it than 
most adolescents would do.  

I do find it annoying how no one in his life seems to understand how 
utterly depressing it is for him to return to the Dursleys, a place 
where he has no love or respect at all.      

I think there will have to be an interesting confrontation with 
Petunia this time.  He knows that she has information about his 
mother she hasn't revealed, and she knows he is old enough to hear 
her story.  I doubt he will put up with "Aunt" Petunia keeping 
secrets much longer.       

Unless SOMEONE in the story makes a MAJOR attempt to intervene in 
his life and get him some permanent emotional support, Harry will 
have no choice but to withdraw and become even more hostile in the 
final two books.  

I am puzzled by Hagrid.  He used to be very good for Harry.  But he  
has been so involved in his own bizarre endeavors...he seems to have 
lost his fire.  i can't believe he didn't find a home for Buckbeak 
himself rather than letting someone from the ministry come to chop 
off the animals head.  there have been other erratic behaviors... 
for example, getting sabotaged as a teacher by Malfoy, then letting 
it erode his confidence and his teaching, imprisioning a giant into 
the forest; lol...he has been of little help to Harry at all 
lately.  

What happened to Hagrid?  He used to be someone that Harry could 
turn to.  Now he is the one who is doing crazy things and expecting 
Ron, Harry and Hermoine to sanction these actions.  For a giant, he 
seems to be a big child.      

Harry has such high stakes to contend with in his life and he has 
learned that he can endanger someone by being close to them.  For 
this reason, I think he will withdraw from Ron and Hermoine, and it 
will take a very determined and persistent person to get past his 
outer shell.  This may be the year that Ginny may make some headway 
with him.  She doesn't seem to back off easy and Harry isn't 
thinking about her "that way" because he still has the "she's my 
friends little sister" image going on. Thats the only kind of person 
I can see her getting close to Harry, and I think she will win his 
heart,but he won't clue into it for a long time. 

By Tabekat in Beaverton, Oregon, who closely identifies with Harry, 
having grown up with a family of Dursleys herself.  Where was Hagrid 
when I needed him?  lol....

>From Muggle.Net - 100 ways to annoy Voldemort:
94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie' 
95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a 
bit of a control-freak'.