What JKR Finds Important

[delwynmarch]

No: HPFGUIDX 116212



Tonks wrote:
" I thing that one important thing that JKR is teaching here, is to
show a teenager going through all of this and coping. Not well, but
coping. No suicide here. She will show the teenagers of the world how
to cope with trauma and loss."

Sherry answered :
" Thanks, Tonks for that post.  What you stated above, about JKR
showing teens that it is possible to cope, is why I so adamantly and
vehemently reject the idea of Harry being so damaged by the end that
he commits suicide or something.  If he goes through all this and
instead of surviving he crumbles under the strain and ends it all, I
feel that would be a terrible message to teens who are struggling and
already have such a high suicide rate.  I considered that route in my
teens, due to family trauma, but it isn't in my nature to give up. 
I'm too stubborn and determined to survive.  I think Harry is also too
determined to survive, and that having him kill himself would be a
cheap cop out, especially for teenagers.  I know that JKR is not
writing these books for anyone but herself, but it wouldn't seem to
match the other lessons she puts forth in the books.  Just my two cents."

Del replies :
Er... I feel very uncomfortable when I read comments like that.

First, as Tonks pointed out, Harry does not cope very well. If a teen
has to learn how to cope, I'd rather he was taught not to yell at
everyone, not to lie about what's going on, not to keep everything for
himself, how to go about getting help (instead of waiting until it is
forced upon him) and so on.

Second, if someone is suicidal, telling them that it is possible to
cope is often not going to help. When I was suicidal, no such talk
would have changed anything. In fact, it might even have increased my
depression, if I felt like everybody else managed to cope but I was
too dumb to do it too. Telling me about people who suffered "more"
than me and still coped, in particular, was a sure way of making me
feel even more miserable and stupid.

Third, you say, Sherry, that "it isn't in my nature to give up.  I'm
too stubborn and determined to survive". And so is Harry. But there
are people out there who are simply not like that. And so they won't
relate to Harry, and replicate his coping mechanism, no matter how
strongly it is drilled into their head.

Fourth, as many people have pointed out recently, this is Harry's
story, not some Life Handbook for Teens and Kids. If Harry ends up
suicidal, it will be sad, but so what ? It happens all the time in RL.
And if he does commit suicide, it will still be very useful, to
"teach" people to take better care of stressed friends.

Harry is indeed representative of many kids. But he is not the
absolute model. His example can be useful to many kids, but let's not
make generalisations, shall we ?

Del