What JKR Finds Important

[ginnysthe1]

No: HPFGUIDX 116241


Tonks wrote:  I think that one important thing that JKR is teaching 
here, is to show a teenager going through all of this and coping. Not 
well, but coping. No suicide here. She will show the teenagers of the 
world how to cope with trauma and loss.
 
Sherry answered: Thanks, Tonks for that post.  What you stated above, 
about JKR showing teens that it is possible to cope, is why I so 
adamantly and vehemently reject the idea of Harry being so damaged by 
the end that he commits suicide or something.  If he goes through all 
this and instead of surviving he crumbles under the strain and ends 
it all, I feel that would be a terrible message to teens who are 
struggling and already have such a high suicide rate.  I considered 
that route in my teens, due to family trauma, but it isn't in my 
nature to give up. I'm too stubborn and determined to survive.  I 
think Harry is also too determined to survive, and that having him 
kill himself would be a cheap cop out, especially for teenagers.  I 
know that JKR is not writing these books for anyone but herself, but 
it wouldn't seem to match the other lessons she puts forth in the 
books.  Just my two cents.
 
Del replied:  Er... I feel very uncomfortable when I read comments 
like that.  First, as Tonks pointed out, Harry does not cope very 
well. If a teen has to learn how to cope, I'd rather he was taught 
not to yell at everyone, not to lie about what's going on, not to 
keep everything for himself, how to go about getting help (instead of 
waiting until it is forced upon him) and so on.
 
Second, if someone is suicidal, telling them that it is possible to
cope is often not going to help. When I was suicidal, no such talk
would have changed anything. In fact, it might even have increased my 
depression, if I felt like everybody else managed to cope but I was 
too dumb to do it too. Telling me about people who suffered "more" 
than me and still coped, in particular, was a sure way of making me 
feel even more miserable and stupid.
 
Third, you say, Sherry, that "it isn't in my nature to give up. I'm 
too stubborn and determined to survive". And so is Harry. But there
are people out there who are simply not like that. And so they won't 
relate to Harry, and replicate his coping mechanism, no matter how 
strongly it is drilled into their head.

Fourth, as many people have pointed out recently, this is Harry's 
story, not some Life Handbook for Teens and Kids. If Harry ends up 
suicidal, it will be sad, but so what? It happens all the time in RL. 
And if he does commit suicide, it will still be very useful, to
"teach" people to take better care of stressed friends. Harry is 
indeed representative of many kids. But he is not the absolute model. 
His example can be useful to many kids, but let's not make 
generalisations, shall we?


Another 2 cents, from Kim:

Just goes to show you how many people there are who have been 
depressed enough at one time or other to consider suicide (at least 
two in this thread and no doubt there are others, yours truly 
included).  My thoughts on this is that each of us, and Harry too, 
copes or not in our own way and obviously for all of us here, we 
managed to cope our way out of the abyss or we wouldn't be here 
discussing it now ;-)

But I think it's important in the case of a fictional character like 
Harry whose story resonates with so many, young and old, that JKR at 
least save her main character's life.  A form of loving intervention 
via fiction?  In a way, JKR is Harry's best friend and how she treats 
him does matter in the end.  And it's part of the symbolic nature of 
her writing too, isn't it, and of the particular teaching nature of 
myths (a la Joseph Campbell's interpretation), that life is sacred 
and ought not be thrown away?  Not that I believe people who do kill 
themselves are guilty, bad, lesser human beings, etc. than anyone 
else.  

Of course, Harry committing suicide is a possiblity and would be 
understandable for anyone who's been through what he has (and we all 
know it's going to get worse for him before it gets better), but my 
sense is that suicide would just be out of character for Harry, no 
mater what happens.  Not out of character for every other person 
necessarily, but for Harry, yes.  As you say, it's Harry's (and 
JKR's) story and nobody else's (and if you relate to Harry, you 
relate; if you don't, you don't, and there's no reason you should 
have to).  So I think it's important (because he's fiction) to show 
Harry suffering, coping or not as best he can, in his own individual 
way, maybe even feeling suicidal, but then coming out of the "fire" 
alive.  Not to be used as some unattainable role model, but as an 
example of an imperfect person who found the resources they needed 
right there inside themselves.  That's what Harry surviving means to 
me anyway. 

>From a slightly different angle, I think I wrote in another post some 
weeks ago that it would seem gratuitous, as in pointless and 
gratuitously depressing, IMO for JKR to kill Harry off at the end, 
whether in battle or by suicide.  So I also agree with Sherry (and 
Tonks?) here.  Killing Harry or having him kill himself would leave 
too many readers saying Huh!? and for good reason.  It would 
definitely leave a very yucky feeling in the pit of my stomach.  But 
then I've never felt comfortable with the traditional "young hero 
must die to save the world" stories, including the religious ones. I 
think that's been a big con game (but maybe I should shut up on that 
topic so as not to offend anyone unnecessarily). 

But now, after all this, I guess I'm still sort of puzzled as to 
where the idea that Harry might kill himself came from in the first 
place.  Do we all agree that his suicide at the end is a bit of a 
long shot?

Kim, who feels at this point that she may have just gone around in 
circles or repeated in different words what everyone else has already 
said -- so consider yourselves inspirational, folks :-)