With enemies like these.....

[Barry Arrowsmith]

No: HPFGUIDX 116330

There's been a recent thread on the shocking state of villainy in the 
WW. There've been complaints about this before (my own 109355 among 
them).

They  really are a cack-handed bunch of incompetents.
Haven't they studied the training modulle?
Or read the textbooks?
There's more to it than having a wand and an attitude, you know. If 
you're gonna do a job, do it right.
I  suppose that having a role model like Voldy doesn't help.
If that's the best an ambitious youngster with dreams of murder, 
torture, repression and all-round nastiness is offered as an exemplar, 
then it's no wonder they don't make the grade.

He's never really decided what he's doing. Keeps changing his mind. 
Shocking. Unforgivable. Not what  one would expect from a thrusting 
go-getter aspiring to be chairman of a world-wide organisation.

We first meet him down the trapdoor in PS/SS.
He has nice, clear objectives - get the Stone, become immortal.
Good thinking. Pretty good trump card, immortality. Once that's 
achieved then it's difficult to see the opposition coming up with a 
successful counter-move.

(There are a few standard possibilities beloved of writers looking for 
short-cuts to the final chapter wash-up; eternal imprisonment for one. 
But it's much more problematical than you'd think; we're talking 
eternity here. Continents drift, strata erode, people die, forget where 
they've put the key, even forget why that door's kept permanently 
locked. "I wonder what's in here?" Opens door to be engulfed in smokey 
mist. "Oh dear, I've come over all funny. Any Muggles about?"
[Which is more-or-less what I've suggested happened to TR when he 
entered the Chamber; see Possession posts passim.]
Loss of powers is another fairly common fantasy ploy for ridding the 
local neighbourhood of almost invincible, supremely evil wizards. Not 
likely in this case, I think -  the powers are ones Voldy has 
developed, they're in his immortal mind, they don't depend on some 
mystic gizmo - the Bicycle Pump of Power or the Cuckoo-clock from the 
Pit of the Damned - that  he's stupidly poured all his powers into. 
Never could understand villains that did things like that. Asking for 
trouble - only needs some light-fingered little scrote to come along 
and before you know it there's a new head on the postage stamps.)

But I digress.
Right.
Nice clear Mission Statement - until Pest!Potter turns up.
Curses! Foiled (again)!
But we don't find out about the 'again' until later.

Next time we meet Voldy  he's on a sentimental journey - finding his 
roots in Little Hangleton. We eavesdrop on his conversation and what do 
we find? He's only gone and changed his agenda,  that's all! 
Immortality is not top of the list any more and eventually we find out 
Potter is. Grievous error. Swapping Thestrals in mid-flight is not 
recommended; goes against every tenet in the book. Even so success 
could have been salvaged, right up until the last minute.

Some may make excuses by claiming it was thrown off track by two bodies 
appearing instead of one. Getting rid of the spare made Voldy lose his 
place in the script. Sorry. Can't accept that.  He just  hadn't thought 
it through.  The rat should have killed Potter too. Needed him for the 
blood, right?
Plenty of blood in a dead body. So,
"Bone of my father......
Flesh of the servant.....
Squeezin's from the heart of an enemy....."
(Can't say  the blood wasn't taken forcibly.)

As a matter of fact it would have been pretty neat -  killing two birds 
with one stone. New body plus "Goodbye Harry" all in one move. Instead 
he has to be too bloody clever by three-quarters.
Wants to show off, to swank it in front of an admiring audience.
As if they wouldn't have been impressed anyway:
"Mm! Like the outfit! Plus an eviscerated body as a conversation piece! 
Ooh! Bella will be spitting feathers with envy when I tell her what 
she's missed!"

Or if it must be taken from a live body (how tiresome), take it, remove 
the protection, *then* kill him. It's been a long time since Voldy held 
a wand; his aim might be a bit shaky - very helpful to have a target 
trussed up like a turkey ready for stuffing. He can use Harry to get 
his eye in again, get in some practice for the comeback tour.

But no. Hubris, that's what it's called. Getting a smack in the teeth 
from Fate when you push it too far. Instead of looking like an 
irresistible force, sweeping all before him, he ends up looking like a 
pillock.

Does he learn? Does he heck-as-like.
He changes his target *again*!
Decides it's time to have a  look at this Prophesy whatsit.
Can't be accused of rushing things, can he? After all, he's only known 
about it for 15 years. Why now? Can't  it wait?
Not only that, everbody knows what these prophecies are like - 
misleading, enigmatic and about as crystal clear as an adolescents 
complexion.
It'd be different if they gave nice, simple guidance:-
  "Harry Potter's the one!
Should he attack the Dark Lord with the "Enervated!" Godric Gryffindor 
letter-opener in DD's office and cast the spell "Excrementum 
Profundis!" he will prevail. So long as there's an 'r' in the month. Or 
if it's raining. But not both."

Clear, concise, helpful.
But it ain't like that. They're deliberately obscure. It must be 
written into a Seer's job description somewhere - "If you can't 
convince 'em, confuse 'em."  And they do - this could be very dodgy; 
easy to make a slip up interpreting the verbal occultation of some 
demented old bat. So why bother?

However, Voldy is adamant. This will do it! This is the way to win the 
war! Yeah, sure. And astrology will  tell you how to win the Lottery.
Of course, given how pathetic both his planning and his hench-wizards 
are, nobody is surprised at his total failure to get it in his sweaty 
little mitts. Switch to the fall-back option - get Potter to do  it for 
him. Will he never learn? He tricks Harry (fortunately you don't need 
the brains of a Nobel prize-winner to do this) into rushing hot-foot to 
the Ministry just in time to be GoH at a surprise party.

Now just wait a minute - Harry is exactly where he's always wanted him 
- at the wrong end of the massed wands of the Voldy Fan Club and 
Slytherin Appreciation Society.
Why not kill him?
The Lily/GH protective spell has been nullified and he's not in Privet  
Drive; cream the creep and go on your way rejoicing.
(I'm sure Jo could pad  out the last two books somehow, change the  
title of the next  to "Harry Potter was the Half-Blood Prince" and the 
last could be "Neville pulls it off".)

Too obvious, I suppose.
Their tiny minds can't grasp the connection between Voldy's obsession 
with using the Prophecy to determine how to remove Harry from this 
mortal plane and the reality of blasting the little bugger that's 
standing right in front of them, giving them lip.

You see what I mean?
It's embarrassing, positively cringe-making, just how mind-bogglingly 
stupid the self-proclaimed elite of the WW is.
All that in-breeding, I suppose.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: that lot are giving evil a 
bad name.

Kneasy