With enemies like these.....

[Smythe, Boyd T {FLNA}]

No: HPFGUIDX 116494

Kneasy wrote:
> There's been a recent thread on the shocking state of villainy in the 
WW. There've been complaints about this before (my own 109355 among 
them).>
>They  really are a cack-handed bunch of incompetents.
Haven't they studied the training modulle?
Or read the textbooks?> <snipped the rest>

boyd:
Oh, come on, Voldie and the DEs (would be a great name for a rock band) are
busy people; you have to cut them some slack.

I mean, imagine the rigors of their schedules:

7am - Wake up to breakfast in bed served by your incompetent house-elf (the
little twit burned the toast again!) Then shower and start the long task of
getting dressed. (Let's see, now, which leather vest goes best with my grey
robe? And should I wear my ever-so-evil boots or the pink Prada pumps?)
8am - Off to work!
9am - After much trial and error (never a portkey when you need one!),
finally apparate to the secret lair of the Death Eaters: the back room of
Benny's Malt Shop in a suburb of Laramie, Wisconsin. After a few greetings
(howdy, Crabs, how's it hangin' Wormbreath? wow, love the sash, Lucius, is
that Hermes?) settle down to the main order of business: how to take over
the WW.

DE#1: "Order, order. Any new ideas on how to take over the WW?"
DE#2: "I say we force them all to wear off-the-rack fashions from last year.
That'll show 'em!"
DE#1: "Oooh, and we could curse them to wear horizontal stripes. They'll be
so embarrassed that they wouldn't dare set foot outside to try to stop us!"
Snape, in disguise: "[growls angrily] Or we could try to kill the boy!"
DE#1: "You suggest that lame idea every time, and look where it got us last
time. Plus, our Dark Lord wants to kill him himself. By the way, you can
take off the wig and girdle, now, Severus, we know it's you."

10:30am - Break for Vanilla Cokes and petit-fours.
11am - Resume discussion.

Peter: "I can't take this blather anymore! When are we going to start
killing the #&$% mudbloods?!?"
DE#1: "[in a baby voice] I think our little Wormikins has forgotten to take
his Happy Potion again...."
DE#2: "Worm-brain, you dolt, if we start leaving bloody messes all over
Britain, we'll force the MoM to finally admit we exist, and then they'll
send aurors our way who'll shoot to kill. And while you may not have found a
rat girlfriend yet, I, for one, have a family to worry about."
DE#1: "And until I see our Dark Lord flex some serious muscle, I'm not ready
for that kind of commitment. Now, why on earth did you think that those
plaid pants would go with your polka-dotted blouse?"

Noon - Lunch. Mostly cigarettes and coffee, because "these hoods are just
*not* slimming"
2pm - Siesta!
4pm - Leave for home. (ta-ta, Luscious! love the heels!)
5pm - Finally find home. Complain the night away before kissing children
goodnight and locking them in their cell.
9pm - Go to bed. (must get my beauty sleep!)

OK, to get this back on topic, as my little skit reminds us, Voldemort's
unexpected defeat at GH left them leaderless and in dangerous straits. Those
who survived had either never been identified or claimed to be under
Imperio. Having narrowly escaped Azkaban, they turned more to their families
(most appear to have had children about Harry's age...hmmmm) and other
diversions.

Further, they have yet to see any successful demonstration of power from LV.
Even the GoF scene showed his weakness vs. Harry. Perhaps he convinced them
that success at the MoM in OoP would ensure victory, but even that is a bit
of a surprise. These are, after all, no longer young, ambitious men and
women full of zealous righteousness. They're middle-aged wizards with
families and comfortable lives. And now here comes that guy who had them all
worked up years ago, but he's a mere shadow of his former self. How excited
would you be to follow him now?

Moreover, and I'm certain that a conspiracy theorist as accomplished as
yourself has already thought of this, maybe the current LV isn't even the
*real* LV, but is instead the projected id of one Albus Dumbledore, who is
also the grandnephew of Salazar Slytherin and the Queen of England. Imagine
the possibilities!

--boyd
gotta stop those midday drinking binges