An Exercise in Sugarcoating Voldy’s Blunderings

[Someone]

No: HPFGUIDX 126971



Held, by the general population of HPFGU, that Voldy be guilty 
beyond reasonable doubt on four counts of "being a bungler", as well 
as a fifth of "generally failing to live up to expectations as bad- 
ass-evil-overlord-of the WW."




We're most of us pretty scornful of Voldy's efforts so far. Four 
times, now, he's allowed a teenage boy to escape his slippery coils 
and, basically, lost all credibility where it comes to this evil 
overlord caper. 

So can one put forth a defense of him, capable of standing up to the 
rigorous scrutiny of the HPFGU council of elders (and anyone else 
whose interested)?

Let's try and put a positive spin on Voldy's long and rather amusing 
line of bungled attempts to kill Harry Potter:


1. October 31, 1981 (Halloween). Godric's Hollow.
Voldy's had a pretty smooth run the past eleven-odd years; 
everything he's touched has turned to gold, or so it would seem. OK, 
so he's allowed the Potters and the Nevilles-es to escape him three 
times, but so what? It hasn't exactly put a halt to his conquest of 
the WW, has it now?
Now we all know what happens next; ChosenOne!Harry is born, and 
promptly stuffs Voldy at GH, leaving him with a severe case of the 
vapors. So the guy was "due"; as they say, "you have to lose one 
before you win one". This was Voldy's defeat. Perhaps he was a 
little over-confident (wouldn't you be after such a run of 
successes?), but then again Lily's "ancient magic" was pretty hot 
stuff.

Can we put a positive spin on things? Well, he still managed to take 
out a couple of guns in Lily and James, didn't he? He got them as 
good as they got him, and, what's more, fixed up their house good 
and proper. More importantly, the experience provided him with some 
useful parameters as to judge the scope of his immortality—he 
survived an AK, just barely of course, but nonetheless, encouraging! 
Give him his body back and he'll be able to make a few refinements, 
tweak it here and there; strengthen the fortifications, as it were.

Conclusion:
Voldy comes out second best but, as shown above, can take a few 
positives from the experience. His take-over of the WW's been set 
back about 13 years, but what's that to someone who's nigh on 
immortal? He's just taken long service leave in Albania, is all. Get 
him back to work refreshed and he'll be all fired up to get stuck in 
again.




2. 1991-92, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Thus Voldy spends eight (nine? ten?) happy years gadding about the 
backwoods of Albania, getting in touch with his spiritual and snaky 
sides, but also waiting, always waiting. Quirrell comes along and 
Voldy, opportunistic sort of bugger that he is, takes his first 
ticket out of there.

And give him credit; the bloke's been disembodied, he's been 
wallowing in a ditch for the last ten years, but still he has the 
wherewithal to hatch a scheme to snatch the PS/SS from right under 
the old guy's crooked nose.

But alas, "the old guy" pulls a DD special with that accursed 
mirror, and Quirrell, the idjit, decides to lay a rugby tackle on 
Potter when he's got a magic wand in his hand ("Accio Stone", 
Stupid!). DD intervenes, Harry survives, Quirrell takes one for the 
team, and Voldy slinks back from whence he came.

Conclusion:
Inhibited by certain corporeal-related circumstances, and working 
with limited resources, Vapour!Mort's managed to acquit himself 
well. Potter ends up getting off on a technicality and Voldy's been 
given *plenty* of food for thought regarding the boy's protection. 
We can assume, I think, that he now has a pretty good idea of what 
makes Harry tick ("It's the ancient magic, I tell you, the ancient 
magic!"). He's had a crack at the old "give yourself up to the dark 
side" ruse; that failed, so at least he knows what he's working with 
now. There'll be no dithering around next time, don't worry `bout 
that.

Most importantly, perhaps, he's seen enough to suggest that there 
are chinks in Albus' armor. The old bloke runs a tight ship, but his 
fortress is by no means impenetrable. Keep that in mind for when you 
finally get around to conquering the school






3. June 24, 1995, Graveyard in Little Hangleton.
This was supposed to be the one; the grand return of The Master, the 
day that Potter upstart was finally to be shown who's boss. Where, 
oh where did it all go pear-shaped, Voldy? 

Well, I'd say *somewhere* between untying Harry from TR senior's 
headstone, and then giving the boy his wand back. Personally, I 
would have spent a few minutes idly admiring my new body, and then 
killed the little rapscallion on the spot (charming fellow, I know). 
But no, the silly cad had to bugger around with "making an example" 
of the boy, ranting exultantly at his followers and generally 
carrying on like a good sort. Before he knew it, the lad had 
wriggled his way out of it again.

What excuses can one cook up for Voldy now? Was he perhaps out of 
touch after not having picked up a wand for 13 years? It certainly 
seems so. Thus, why not kill Potter while he's un-armed and 
defenceless? The kid's pretty special, obviously; so why give him 
any sort of chance at all? 
Some have said that he wanted to show the lads that there was 
nothing particularly special about the boy, nothing there to fear. 
Well, there certainly *wouldn't* have been reason to fear him were 
he *dead*, would there now? 
Is Voldy just a lair? 
Or could he possibly have a deep-rooted sense of honor hidden away 
within that scaly heart of his?

Conclusion:
Whatever way you look at it, Voldy screwed up big time on this 
occasion. His followers wouldn't have been *particularly* impressed 
with their leader, I wouldn't have thought—did they "close ranks" 
around the chief or would they be beginning to have second thoughts 
about his capacity to lead them to glory?
At least Voldy's got his body back now (it makes everyday tasks 
considerably easier) and that's some consolation, I guess. He can 
now touch the boy as well, although that "gleam of triumph" of DD's 
wasn't overly encouraging






4. June, 1996, Ministry of Magic, London.
Not the type to know when he's beat, Voldy hatches another zany plot 
to lure "the boy who lived" into his waiting arms. Heartbreakingly, 
months of planning again go down the drain, and what is more, his 
cover is blown.

At least it isn't fully his fault this time. He sets things up 
flawlessly, and entrusts it to his "elite" squadron of DEs to 
deliver the coup de grace. *That* was his mistake. By the time he 
arrives at the MOM to salvage what he can from the wreckage, the 
prophecy has been lost and his pupils have shown themselves sadly 
deficient in the art of overpowering a small band of school 
children. 

It seems as if he will still be able to dispose of the Potter boy, 
thereby recovering a little respectability, but once again he just 
can't resist directing one of his sneering one-liners at the boy, 
giving *bloody* DD time to interpose. The big boys nuke it out in 
the front atrium and note that Voldy actually holds his own: he's on 
his own out there, while DD takes him on with an assortment of 
animated statues and a super intelligent phoenix. That bully-boy, 
him. What ever happened to fair play and one on one combat?

Conclusion:
The goodies eventually romp it home down below in the death chamber, 
Voldemort charitably announces his return to the world and Harry 
escapes yet again. It doesn't look too good for him. However, it 
might just be a blessing in disguise. He's had a whole year to 
quietly build up his army, so now that he's out in the open he has 
no choice but to get down to business. No more dithering around with 
crackpot schemes to kill Harry Potter. And what's he lost? He would 
probably have been found out the moment he took affirmative action 
anyway.



Summation:
Well, it isn't particularly encouraging, but if you look at things 
from a slightly warped perspective you can *sort of* see some method 
to his madness. And give him credit where it's due; he's a fairly 
determined sort, and as the scene at the end of OOTP shows, he's 
still very much sane, where a lot of people would perhaps be 
otherwise. I'd say he goes into Voldy War Two looking pretty good; 
he just hasn't been able to finish off that slippery blighter 
Potter, that's all. 


So, still guilty on all five charges?



John, with a Voldy-like rant.