FILK: What do you do with a Muggle Werewolf?

[quigonginger]

No: HPFGUIDX 126972


This is one of those times I think I have been filking too long.  I 
was pondering werewolves (long story), when I remembered in FB that 
it said that werewolves could be wizard or Muggle.  I started 
wondering about how a Muggle would be treated, and how it would be 
kept secret from the rest of the Muggle world.

Unbidden, this filk entered my head, probably due to the off-list 
singing of a certain severly mutated, but nonetheless charming 
Penguin of Doooom.  (Did I get enough o's in there, Sean?)  I 
dedicate this to my Antarctic friend.

To the tune of "What can you do with a Drunken Sailor?"


What do you do with a Muggle Werewolf?
One who can grow quite a lot of hair-wolf?
Can't have the Muggles stop and stare-wolf?
Once he's in St. Mungo's?

Go bind him up with some Magic shackles.
Give him a room with a hag who cackles.
One who's for sure gonna raise his hackles.
Tied up in St. Mungo's.

Give him a goblet of good old wolfsbane.
Might get a hairball, but he'll still stay sane.
'Til the full moon is gone he'll remain
Safely in St. Mungo's.

What can we do with his Muggle cohorts?
Family and friends and his pubmates of sorts?
This surely calls for some drastic resorts!
Keep them from St. Mungo's.

Call up an Auror- obliviate them.
Cannot recall what nearly ate them.
Must find a way we can compensate them-
Bill it to St. Mungo's.

Make his wife think he was out fox-hunting.
Make his boss think he was at work grunting.
Give the excuses that he'll be wanting
Whilst he's in St. Mungo's.

What do you do with a Muggle Werewolf?
He must be treated with extra care-wolf.
No damage done that we can't repair-wolf
If he's in St. Mungo's.


Ginger, back to her appointed tasks of the day.