SHIP: The Harry’s True Girlfriend Litmus Test (was: Susan Bones - The Candidate)

[nkafkafi]

No: HPFGUIDX 128002


>From the company that brought you the magnificently-crashed Randomized
Prophecy Decoder and the never-launched HBP Identifier, this time it's
for you SHIPpers: here is the ultimate test for identifying Harry's
True Girlfriend. Just choose your favorite candidate and award her
points according to the sections of the test, and you'll get her final
score, which you can then compare with the score of the other
candidates. For advanced (read: the Terminally Obsessed) shippers -
you can conduct the test for each book separately. This way you'll
also get the development of the candidate chances through the series. 

(note: for convenience the candidate is referred to as "she" and "her"
throughout the test, but according to the shipper's tendencies it can
refer to either gender and even non-humans. I don't discriminate) 


The Test:

1. Did Harry show any romantic interest in the candidate...
like kissing and dating her? [award your candidate 10 points]
like only have his heart doing summersaults when she's around? [8 pts]
like asking her to a ball? [6] 
but only because the first one he asked wasn't available? [3]
like thinking she's pretty [2]
like just noticing her look [1]. 

2. Did Harry show platonic interest in the candidate...
like hanging with her all the time? [4]
like saving her life [3]
but only because it was The Right Thing To Do [2] 
and he didn't actually save her because another guy already did? [1]

3. Did the candidate show any romantic interest in Harry...
like kissing and dating him? [7]
like hopelessly admiring him? [5]
like watching him in the prefects bathroom? [4]
like going to a ball with him? [3] 
but only because he was a school champion? [1].
like kissing him on the cheek in socially-acceptable circumstances? [2]
but she also kissed another guy in those same circumstances? [0]
well she would have kissed the other guy too but couldn't because he
was unfortunately unconscious at the time [ok, make it 1]. 

4. Did the candidate show any platonic interest in Harry...
like hanging with him all the time? [4]
like helping him or supporting him when it's not the popular thing to
do? [3]
like torturing him in socially-acceptable circumstances? [2] 
but she also tortured another guy in those circumstances [0]
well she would have tortured the other guy too but couldn't because
she didn't have a spare quill [1].

5. Did the candidate show any romantic interest in other guys than
Harry...
that are handsome naked centaurs? [subtract 3 pts]
that are in Harry's year? [-2 for each guy]
and are Harry's best friend? [-5]
that are older than Harry? [-3 for each]
and are very cool? [-4]
that are older than Harry but dead? [-2].
that are MUCH too old for her? (Lockhart counts) [-1].

6. Did other guys show romantic interest in the candidate...
and they're in Harry's year? [-1 for each]
and are Harry's best friend? [-5]
they're older than Harry? [-2 for each]
they're older AND better at Quidditch? [-4]
but she doesn't care about Quidditch? [-7 for unsuitability]

7. Did the candidate show jealousy about other girls who are
interested in Harry...
that she only thought are interested in him? [1pt for each other girl]
that are really interested in him? [2 for each]
that YOU think are interested in him but aren't really? [1 for each]
that are actually interested in another guy that she's also might be
interested with? [-3 for each].

8. Did other guys that were interested in the candidate showed
jealousy about Harry...
because she's really interested in Harry? [3 for each other guy]
because they only think she's interested in him ?[1 for each]
but she actually really IS interested in him only she doesn't know it
yet, but they can tell [2]
but he's not really interested in her [1]
yet they suspect he might become interested in her if he realize that
she is interested in him, only she doesn't know it yet but they do
[this section is canceled because my chain of logic just broke].

9. Did the candidate try to make Harry jealous by dating other guys
[nope, I think I won't even start on that one]  

10. Is the candidate suitable for Harry...
like they would be happy together for the rest of their life?[8] 
but there's the small problem that she's a bit older than him? [that's ok]
no, like really, REALLY older [-1 for each year of difference]
she'd be right for him but with constant nagging [-20]
she'd be right for him but I can't stand her [20]
she'd be right for him but I can't stand her family [10]
she's the only one who knows what he went through [2]
she has a French accent [5]
but it's an annoying French accent [-7]
she's right for him because she's a true Gryffindor [4]
she's right for him because she's not a Gryffindor [4]
we don't know anything about her, but she could be right for him [3] 
she's a ghost, but she'd be right for him if he's dead by the end of
the series [2]
she's a bird, but she might be an animagus [1]
she's not even in the series yet, but she'll be the younger sister of
the Half-Blood Prince [0.000001]


If you haven't lost track yet, sum up the points for your candidate
and prove that she scores more points than the competition.



Neri, 
with humble apologies to Merlin Missy for stealing from her Mary Sue
Litmus Test
http://missy.reimer.com/library/marysue.html