Accio 2005 press release: new Guest Speaker and Trial of Snape

[horridporrid03]

No: HPFGUIDX 128153


>>Ali:
<SNIP>
>3. That the accused, feloniously, treasonously and with malice 
aforethought, continues as a member in said illegal organisation

>4. That the accused has on divers occasions and under the guise of 
lawful chastisement committed assault and battery on minors in 
respect of whom he was in loco parentis, such assault and battery 
being occasioned by divers magical and physical means, and resulting 
in perceptible physical and psychological harm to the said minors.<

>>Carol:
<SNIP>
>BTW, sounds like a rigged trial, with the verdict determined in 
advance. If Snape doesn't get off on items 3 and 4, it's definitely 
a kangaroo court. (Sounds like an accurate reflection of the corrupt 
justice system in the WW.)<
<snip>

Betsy:
Amen, sister! While number 3 could (and has) been argued by those 
who believe in ESE!Snape, number 4 is just plain silly.  "Assult and 
battery"?  What? "Perceptible physical and psychological harm"? Huh?
 
>>Alla:
<snip>
>But really, I think item number 4 is the strongest item in the 
indictment and I really hope he does NOT get off on this one, 
really. :-)
>If I were  the prosecutor, I would call Neville as my star witness.<

Betsy:
Urg.  Really?  I honestly don't think Neville is that big of a 
wimp.  So Snape's a bit short with him, big friggin deal.  Does he 
have a scar permently etched into his hand?  Has Neville ever left 
an encounter with Snape bruised and bloody? Has Snape ever colluded 
with Neville's enemies in order to *kill* him?  Okay, sure, at one 
point in time Snape was the form of Neville's boggart - when the boy 
was THIRTEEN YEARS OLD!! I'm sure Neville has gotten over it by 
now.  If not, then Neville was never really fit to leave home in the 
first place.  It's a big scary world out there.  If a strict, no-
nonense teacher is enough to send Neville cowering under his bed, he 
should stay home with his grandma.

(Okay, so I was a bit harsh there, but "assult and battery"??!?  I 
mean, honestly.)

Betsy, who hopes no feeling were hurt during the reading of this 
semi-emotional response - it's all in good fun folks!