Hiding Horcruxes: LV is an Evil Overlord

[tigerpatronus]

No: HPFGUIDX 135904

> > Merrylinks:
> >Did Tom Riddle ever store something in one of the vaults [at 
> Gringotts]? This might be an excellent place to hide a Horcrux.
> > Julie:
> > > I think you are onto something there.  I wonder if the diary was 
> the horcrux left in Hogwarts since he "preserved his 16 year old 
> self."
> hg replies:
> I also agree that Gringotts is an excellent hiding place.  I got the 
> impression reading Sorcerer's Stone that we'd be returning to 
> Gringott's.  
<snip>

That's on the Evil Overlord list! (found here: 
http://paul.merton.ox.ac.uk/filmtv/overlord.html ) 

Evil Overlord Rule #5: "The artifact which is the source of my power 
will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire 
guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. 
The same applies to the object which is my one weakness." 

LV has been the perfect Evil Overlord so far. He has not made any of 
the stupid mistakes that James Bond villians make.  

Other Evil Overlord Rules that apply to LV: 

Shooting (or AK) is not too good for my enemies.

When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill 
me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." 
and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to 
prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker 
enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any 
other form of last request.

I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just 
one thing I want to know."

When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their 
advice. (Avery and the MoM)

I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to 
usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at 
a crucial point in time.

I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, 
but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own 
father.

Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in 
maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected 
developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to 
accordingly.

I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms 
for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that 
make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage 
Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to 
have a more positive mind-set.

No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I 
will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in 
their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my 
power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons 
useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed 
with spears and rocks.

I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. 
Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will 
never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After 
that, death is usually instantaneous.)

No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there 
is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill 
me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to 
my bedchamber.

I will never build only one of anything important. All important 
systems will have reduntant control panels and power supplies. For the 
same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at 
all times.

All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with 
surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected 
reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick. 
(Rosmerta was Imperio'd.) 

I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news 
just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to 
come by.

I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear 
a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-
code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be 
reserved for formal occasions. (No canon evidence that Bellatrix ever 
wore a stainless-steel bustier.) 

I will not turn into a snake. It never helps. (Okay, LV broke this 
one.) 

I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. 
Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring 
anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead 
of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards 
me in my old age. (This is LV's defining characteristic, when he went 
after Baby Harry.) 

If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at 
the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite 
number among his army. (LV sends his DE whenever possible.) 

I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable 
superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead 
of keeping it in reserve.

Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel 
devices. (Although the Trio did this for him in the MoM in OotP.) 

If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one 
man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will 
slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him 
to mature. (Baby Harry again.) 

I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology 
with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will 
not immediately come after me for revenge. (Nagini.) 

If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I 
will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them 
out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local 
paper. (LV kinda violated this one, but he kinda sent Harry to get the 
Prophacy.) 

The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in 
my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important 
covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if 
there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less 
attention. (Lucius is LV's best MoM spy.) 

I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is 
only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer 
is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd 
better save my life again. (Maybe Harry is the Evil Overlord!) 

If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and 
begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of 
using my unstoppable superweapon on them. (Perhaps LV's downfall at 
GH!) 

I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, 
instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack 
one or two at a time. (DE vs. Harry et al in the MoM)

Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, 
I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access. 
(Crouch Sr. ignored this one to his downfall.) 

I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is 
destined to overthrow me -- I'll do it myself. (Baby Harry again.) 

I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident -- 
I'm not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it.

I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy"; I 
simply choose not show them any.

My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members 
of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots 
or adhere to any other dress codes. (Oops.) 

Any and all magic and/or technology that can miraculously resurrect a 
secondary character who has given up his/her life through self 
sacrifice will be outlawed and destroyed. (JKR saw to this herself.) 

I will offer oracles the choice of working exclusively for me or being 
executed. (Ollivander?) 

I will not rely entirely upon "totally reliable" spells that can be 
neutralized by relatively inconspicuous talismen. (Oops! AK!) 

Prior to kidnapping an older male scientist and forcing him to work 
for me, I will investigate his offspring and make sure that he has 
neither a beautiful but naive daughter who is willing to risk anything 
to get him back, nor an estranged son who works in the same field but 
had a falling-out with his father many years ago. (Ollivander.) 

Before appointing someone as my trusted lieutenant, I will conduct a 
thorough background investigation and security clearance. (DD's 
mistake; LV's victory.) 

If I make a zombie out of one of the heroes, rather than killing him, 
I will not put him in a position where he will make ANY contact with 
his friends, lest he remember them and turn against me, or they learn 
how to free all my zombies by freeing him. (Crouch Sr.'s mistake 
again.) 

Just some thoughts to nosh on, 

TK -- TigerPatronus