SHIP Harry Abusive? Ginny's love for Harry a bad influence for impressionable teens?

[Frances Marie]

No: HPFGUIDX 136076

Del replies:
Er... I clearly remember writing that I do NOT believe that.

However, I am pointing out that because we don't have any canon
contradicting it, it could theoretically be possible.

Fran:  Wow, that's TRUE.  And with conjectures like that, it's 
THEORETICALLY possible that Sirius was a pedophile—because there is 
no canon that says otherwise—and after all, he was awful fond of 
Harry.  Heck, maybe that's why Harry is so abusive.


Del:  
In fact, I would BET that there are young people who DID 
interpret "Harry and Ginny had a particularly happy hour" as "they 
had wild sex for an hour", and "Harry was happier than he'd been in 
a long time" as "he was getting lots of sex". And they would 
interpret it that way because it is THEIR understanding of what 
happiness in a couple is.

Fran:  
Yes, again.  I *immediately* believed they were having wild 
hot monkey sex...and being the romantic teenage girl I was, that's 
also exactly what I would have thought then as well.  Of course, 
it's my belief any teenager engaged in that much sex right now 
probably isn't doing anything as mundane as reading, let alone 
reading CHILDREN'S books.


Del replies:
You don't understand the point I am trying to make.

By TELLING us that Harry and Ginny are having a happy relationship 
but
not SHOWING us what a happy relationship looks like, JKR leaves the
door open to *genuine* MISinterpretations.

Fran: 
 Oh, I see.  What you want JKR to do is drop the actual plot 
line of the novels and develop the ROMANTIC aspect only?  And of 
course, change the POV of the novels from Harry to ALL the 
characters—because we've never had anyone's POV except Harry's.  If 
you want a ROMANTIC aspect novel only with multiple points of view, 
I can suggest a number of my favorite Romance Authors.  They do it 
all the time.  But then again, the write for an entirely different 
genre than Ms. Rowling.


Del:  
Take for example a 14-year-old girl who's the kind of girl who
believes that once she finds her One True Love, everything will be 
all
right and he and she will be happy forever. Then she falls in love,
and everything is not right. Her boyfriend is jealous and 
controlling,
the relationship is emotionally abusive, she keeps giving and giving
and giving, but she feels he doesn't give anything back.

Then she reads HBP, and she sees that Ginny *makes* Harry happy, but
that nothing is said about Ginny receiving anything. She sees Harry
making the decisions for them both. In short, she sees Harry do what
her own bf is doing. And what diagnostic does JKR give of the H/G
romance? It's the perfect match, they are soooo happy!


Fran: 
 Does this theoretical teenager live in a cave with only Harry 
Potter novels?


Del: 
 I'm 31, I know LOTS more about love and happiness than any
14-year-old. I can guess that Harry gives as much as he receives, and
that even if they are happy, they still have their little disputes
once in a while.

Fran: 
 I'm relieved to hear you're old enough to know better.  So am 
I.


Del: 
 But because it is not written, it CAN be interpreted as not 
being
there at all. All those over-romantic girls CAN get the message that
the Perfect Match exist, that the Perfect Bliss is attainable, and
that there should never be any misunderstanding or disagreement
between two people who truly love each other.

THIS is why I think that JKR made a big mistake by simply TELLING her
readers that Harry and Ginny are happy, but not SHOWING what a happy
relationship looks like. In particular, she failed to show that a
happy relationship needs WORK, and that's it takes TWO to make a
relationship work, two crucial points that way too many young people
don't know about.

Fran: 
It sounds like you think teenagers get all their romantic 
advice from JKR—and as much as I adore JKR—I believe that's giving 
the poor woman too much credit.  I remember much about being a 14 
year old girl, and I also purloined my information from romance 
novels, teen magazines, my friends' warped views of love, and 
various movies and television shows.  Are you on a rampage for all 
media or just JKR's?  I'm also getting tired of adults whining about 
the influence of media warping their children.  You want to do 
something about it:  TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN.  Listen to see if they 
are truly loaded with these irrational views, and go from there.  
You're not giving children credit to know what is fact and what is 
fiction—which is what separates you from JKR.  She does.


Fran.