SHIP: Remus/Tonks, and RL experiences

[Lissa Hess]

No: HPFGUIDX 136343


>Del wrote:



> > This definitely shows that the readers' experience accounts for a lot
> > in how they understand a romance that is little developed.
><<<SNIP big, good post>>>

Lissa says:

Actually, the funny thing is that this is exactly why Remus/Tonks DIDN'T 
work for me.

Like Del, I've done the begging thing.  More than once.  And y'know 
what?  It didn't work.  At all.  In fact, quite the opposite.  Any respect 
the guy might have had for me went right out the window.  And that's what 
makes me cringe about the Remus/Tonks relationship.  Now, granted, I'm not 
trying to get a werewolf to go out with me.  But I can't make that hospital 
scene resonate with my real life experiences, especially since we have NO 
hints about Remus's feelings.

There's no foreshadowing in OotP, and there are places for it.  That joint 
Christmas gift could have been from Remus and Tonks, not Remus and 
Sirius.  When Tonks fell in the Ministry, Remus could have at least looked 
her direction.  Rather, it's Moody that crawls over to revive her- Remus's 
entire attention is focused on Harry and Sirius.  They treat each other as 
colleagues and I'd certainly believe friends, but not anything 
special.  The only real clue in my mind is he's not married and legal, and 
so's she.  And when JKR spoke about it in the interview, she seemed to be 
expecting it to be a surprise.

There isn't much hint of Remus's feelings towards Tonks in HBP, either, 
which is why I can't reconcile her begging with his response.  Sure, 
there's him staring into the fire at Christmas.  But Remus has incredibly 
valid reasons to be depressed at that point: he's living in abject poverty, 
spying on people who despise him for people who despise him slightly 
less.  Sirius is gone, which has to hurt.  And finally, he's being forced 
to live around the man who bit him.  Fandom as a whole has pounced on 
Greyback=child molester almost as quickly as R.A.B.=Regulus 
Black.  Extending the Greyback metaphor, that makes Remus one of his 
victims... and that's got to be about what it's like- the victim of abuse 
being forced to live around his unrepentant abuser.  Is it any wonder the 
poor guy is depressed?  And when Tonks does come up, Molly corrects Remus 
as to her whereabouts.  If Remus had corrected Molly, I'd've been much more 
suspicious.

But the lack of any feeling or any hint from Remus about Tonks is what 
makes my reaction go from the grin I got from Fleur's reaction to Bill to 
cringing and recommending Tonks read "He's Just Not That Into You."  I know 
Remus is a private person, and yes, the books are from Harry's POV, but if 
the author wants me to believe that Remus loves Tonks, I need to be shown, 
not told.  There are ways to do it, and it doesn't have to be big.  Heck, 
all it took me to buy Fleur and Bill was an interested look from her and a 
typical little brother wisecrack from the twins.


D. said:

 >At least this shut down the idea that Lupin is gay (and being poorly 
double oppressed by
 >the homophobic world) or Sirius and Lupin as lovers were canon.

Lissa again:

Actually, it doesn't.  At least not the second.  I mean, Sirius is dead, 
and it would take a LOT of convincing for me to believe that Remus had a 
thing for Tonks before Sirius's death, especially given the DoM scene.  I 
suspect it's probably NOT canon (which is too bad, since I found it a far 
more compelling romance than Tonks/Remus), but there is absolutely nothing 
in canon to contradict the idea that Remus and Sirius had a 
more-than-friends relationship.  (Even the will doesn't contradict it, 
given Sirius's obsession with his mistake that orphaned Harry and his 
desire to make amends.)

Lissa