In defense of Molly + Merope comments

[susanmcgee48176]

No: HPFGUIDX 136473

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "phoenixgod2000" <jmrazo at h...> 
wrote:
> --- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, Schlobin at a... wrote:
> > 
> > Now on to mothers...I wish to start with a spirited defense of 
> Molly  
> > Weasley, mother to Bill, Charley, Percy, Fred, George, Ron and 
> Ginny. I beg to  
> > differ with the many heated criticisms of her parenting on this 
> forum. 
> 
> My problem with Molly isn't really about her general parenting 
> skills or lack there of. I do think she is probably a darker/more 
> poisonous character than you give her credit for but other than her 
> treatment of Ron in GoF and her treatment of the twins in general I 
> don't think I ever criticized her parenting. My problem with Molly 
> stems from three things.
> 
> 1. Her treatment of Arthur. It's deplorable in my view and 
undercuts 
> his authority at every turn. Its amazing he can stand with his 
total 
> lack of a backbone.
> 
> 2. Her treatment of Sirius in OOTP. It was absolutely out of bounds 
> and unforgivable in my view. To attack a man who had spent twelve 
> years under torture for not being there for Harry when he is the 
> sole reason Sirius managed to escape the inescapable in my view not 
> just rude, but flat out evil. Maybe not Voldemort evil, but evil 
> nonetheless. And she did it in his home in which she was a guest.
> 
> 3.  Her almost pathologically blind faith in Dumbledore. Lets not 
> forget that it was crazy and wild Sirius with the poor judgement 
who 
> ended up being proven more right about how to handle Harry by the 
> end of OOTP and not Molly's blind acceptence of Dumbledore's 
> instructions.
> 
> > In the great tradition of mothers, Molly is fiercely protective 
of 
> both her  
> > biological children -- and her chosen child of the heart -- 
Harry. 
> 
> But it isn't her job to be fiercely protective of Harry. She can 
> love him and be there for him when he needs it, but it was up to 
> Sirius--as his actual guardian--to decide what was best for Harry, 
> and she just shoved her way in, deciding that without any actual 
> authority it should be her way or the highway when it came to 
Harry. 
> She has every right to decide what information her underage 
children 
> get to hear but she has no right to dictate what harry does. It was 
> obnoxious and made her utterly unlikeable in my view. 
>   
> > I wonder how  much of the criticism of Molly stems from the 
> popular pastime 
> > of blaming the  mother for everything..and holding her totally 
> responsible 
> > (while holding dads  to a much lower standard).....
> 
> I think that is deeply unfair. I do think that Fathers in HP get so 
> far less dignity than mothers it isn't even funny. Why is the 
> supposed perfect family got a father who is nothing more than a 
> spineless 'yes dear' sort of man? Is the only good husband and 
> father one who goes along with his wife all the time and lets her 
> browbeat him in public?  Why was it so important to tear down 
> Harry's father figure by showing him as a bully while leaving his 
> mother as a beloved saintlike figure with nothing so much as a 
> pimple marring her perfection? I think the worst of all insult 
> toward fathers was done in her most recent interview when she said 
> that Lily was braver than james. So the single most selfless act 
> that a father commits in the entire series (charging an unkillable 
> monster to try and give his wife and child a chance to flee) is 
> still overshadowed by his wife? Seriously, what kind of crap is 
> that?  You wanna talk about messages, skip H/G, what does this say 
> about Rowlings thoughts of fatherhood? I personally think its 
> outrageous.
> 
> Seperate note: I saw in your post about mothers that Merope is to 
be 
> pitied and is a sad, pathetic character. I would disagree. She is 
> evil and pathetic, but definitely not to be pitied. Don't forget 
> that she is basically a rapist. She used love magic to force 
herself 
> on Tom Sr.  What would be your reaction if Crabbe or Goyle used a 
> love potion to have their way with Fleur? It's the same thing.
> 
> My rant for the day,
> 
> phoenixgod2000


My advice to you is: stop beating around the bush! Just come out and 
say what you mean! Stop being so diplomatic...

Sorry, but I totally disagree with "Molly's treatment of Arthur" as 
browbeating or disrespectful. They have spirited arguments -- I 
believe that their argument in the GoF where they are debating 
whether to tell Harry is a wonderful example of mature adults who 
love each other and respectfully disagree. Arthur goes ahead and 
warns Harry about Sirius. Arthur has plenty of influence on 
decisions. He goes ahead and has the muggle surgeon stitch his 
wounds -- Molly was right and angry -- but that didn't stop him.

I am involved with a partner who is very glad to let me make all 
kinds of little decisions about the daily life but has a core of iron 
when it comes to big decisions. Different relationships play out 
differently?

Vis a vis Molly's treatment of Sirius? Evil? Molly feels strongly 
that the way to protect the kids is to keep them out of the line of 
fire. She doesn't think Sirius is too responsible a godfather.

I LOVE Sirius, and I would probably do the exact same things if I 
were in his position. But Molly and Hermione do have a point. He was 
alone too long. He was affected by his time in Azkaban. Staying 
inside his old home is driving him to drink... He gets mad at Harry 
for refusing to break the rules, and compares him unfavorably to 
James...a low blow.

I think people are putting too much weight on James' bad treatment of 
Sirius. Sure Lily is heroic and selfless, but we don't know her bad 
points yet. Everyone has them in the Potterverse...even DD! Even HP!..
We'll find them out later.

Susan