Voldemort good/bad. Was: Twisted Irony

[delwynmarch]

No: HPFGUIDX 138838

Rebecca wrote:
"We don't know that (Tom) was never cuddled, or pampered or played
with. We know that he was raised in an orphanage and that the staff
would have been over-worked and without much time to spend with any
particular child. But we don't know that he 'never' received any
'nice' treatment."

Del replies:
I agree, and I do think that Tom did receive positive attention, at
least at first. However, we do know two things:

1. He was a strange baby. We can suppose that this would have put off
his caregivers somewhat.

2. He rarely cried. I assume that this means that he cried even less
than those babies who don't cry much. Now, when a baby almost never
cries, that's often a big warning signal that something is very wrong
with him. Healthy babies often cry, because crying is the only way
they can ask for whatever they need or desire. Consequently, not
crying is the worst thing a "special needs" baby could do, because
overworked people are naturally inclined to take less care of a baby
who doesn't cry (especially if this baby is a bit "strange") simply
because they assume that if he doesn't cry, that's because he doesn't
need anything, which couldn't be less true. It's a vicious circle, one
I think Tom fell into very quickly in his infancy.

Rebecca wrote:
"I can only conclude that some of it must have been nice, simply
because I cannot comprehend how anyone could spend time with a small
baby and not be tender with them."

Del replies:
Good for you if you can't imagine it. I can, though. It does happen,
all the time, all over the world. There are many people right now in
the world torturing babies in one way or another. Now don't get me
wrong, I'm *in no way* saying that the people at the orphanage
tortured Tom, they really don't strike me as being that kind of
people. I just think that, as you said, they were probably overworked,
and also that they were put off by Tom's abnormal reactions and that
they didn't take as much care of him as the others simply because he
didn't *ask* for it by crying. No criminal activities, no nasty
thoughts, no unkind behaviours on the part of the staff, just a
non-realisation of what was going on and what was needed.

Rebecca wrote:
"I still maintain that we don't know that TR's treatment was any worse
than harry's; for all we know it may have been substantially better.
OK, Harry got 14 months of pure love, but then nothing. TR likely did
get (albeit smaller amounts) of positive treatment over a much longer
period of time."

Del replies:
Unfortunately, those first months of life are *absolutely crucial* in
the development of a human being. That's when bonding takes place. If
bonding fails to take place, the person is going to have *huge*
troubles interacting normally with other people, *throughout their
life*. Harry bonded with his parents, he learned (even though
unconsciously) what love and attachment are, what they feel like, that
they are an integral part of life, and that he is entitled to them.
But Tom never learned that. He failed to bond, and as a consequence he
failed to learn to love and be loved, and all those little bits of
positive treatments he received through the years that you mentioned,
were rendered null and void of any meaning because Tom was simply
*incapable* of absorbing them.

Remember the most shocking thing (IMO) that JKR ever said in an
interview about Tom: he never loved. You've said that you can't
imagine someone taking care of a baby and not being tender with them.
Can you imagine a kid *never* loving *anyone*? Can you imagine a 3- or
4-year-old little boy not "falling in love" with the nice nurse who
said a nice thing to him or the nice lady in the street who gave him a
caress or a sweet because he was so cute? I can't. And yet that's what
happened: Tom never "fell in love" with anyone, not even as a baby or
a little kid, IOW way before he was able to control his emotions and
reactions.

Harry is a "normal" human being, but Tom isn't. He was born from a
family with huge psychological and maybe even genetics issues, he was
abandoned by both his father (during his fetal stage) and his mother
right after his birth - two potentially *very* strong emotional
traumas that shouldn't be underestimated. And he was not taken care of
in a way that allowed him to bond and discover attachment. This is not
necessarily the orphanage personnel's fault: I'm perfectly willing to
believe that they treated Tom just as well as any other kid.
Unfortunately, Tom was a "special needs" kid because of his horrific
familial and emotional background and maybe even his own nature, who
*could not* be raised in such an environment without being forever
dramatically damaged. The wrong boy in the wrong place at the wrong
time.

Del