Punishments for the Dursleys

[lupinlore]

No: HPFGUIDX 145648

We have a minor cottage industry developing coming up with suitable 
fates for the Dursleys.  There seem to be several that are plausible.

For one thing, it doesn't seem very believable that Voldy will just 
shrug and let them go -- it ain't in his character.  So an attack on 
Privet Drive seems in the cards.  We know now that won't result in 
Petunia showing magic, once a favorite theory.  It also seems 
unlikely that any of them will be killed or soul-sucked.  JKR likes 
to torment them too much for that.

An attack might, however, result in the Dursleys having to be hidden, 
as several have suggested.  In any case, here are some ideas that 
have been recently broached along with a few of my own.  None of 
these are predictions (from me, anyway) just speculations/funny ideas:

1) The Dursleys have to be hidden at Grimmauld Place.  This would be 
delicious in several ways.  It would also give a very ironic twist to 
Vernon's interest in the house Harry inherited.

2) Dudley achieves "salvation" through a romance with a witch.

3) The Dursleys demand protection.  The Ministry obliges by assigning 
them a witch they want to keep out of the public eye, namely Dolores 
Umbridge.

4)  Petunia, learning that Dumbledore is dead, contacts McGonnagall 
and demands payment for keeping Harry all those years.  McGonnagall 
obliges by promising Petunia a magical servant -- and asks Harry to 
dispatch Kreacher to keep house for his aunt.

5)  Ron and Hermione come to stay with Harry at Privet Drive.  Dudley 
makes a pass at Hermione, resulting in Ron losing his temper and (now 
an adult and legal wizard, remember) doing something extremely nasty 
and somewhat permanent.

6)  Ginny comes to Privet Drive to celebrate Harry's coming-of-age.  
Dudley attempts to press his favors on her (being under age she can't 
use her bat bogey hex in this situation).  However, Harry, now of 
age, loses his temper and does something rather nasty (remember, we 
do have a hint in an early JKR interview that Harry will use magic on 
Dudley).

7)  Ginny comes to visit at Privet Drive on Harry's birthday.  
Vernon, deeply frustrated by having two adult wizards (Ron and 
Hermione) in the house who can't be touched (and who won't tolerate 
his bullying of Harry), loses his temper and grabs her in much the 
same way he grabbed Harry in OOTP.  Harry is not pleased and 
nastiness ensues.

And of course, many of these are not mutually exclusive.  Anyway, as 
I say, not predictions, just possibilities.  I do think of all of 
them the Grimmauld place eventuality might have been foreshadowed 
(i.e. Vernon's interest in the house Harry inherited) and would 
certainly be poetic.  It could also be done without taking up a great 
deal of space, as Harry need not interact with the Dursleys at 
Grimmauld Place.  They could be shipped there and then a comic line 
every now and then through the book could catch us up on their 
misadventures.  And God knows, Book VII will probably desperately 
need a line of comic relief here and there.

Also, we do know that Ron and Hermione will be going to stay at 
Privet Drive while Harry awaits his birthday.  It seems unbelievable 
that their presence would not give rise to ample opportunity for the 
Dursleys to put their foot in it, so to speak.

Anyway, anybody else have any ideas?


Lupinlore