CHAPTER DISCUSSIONS: Chapter Thirty seven - The lost prophecy

[Geoff Bannister]

No: HPFGUIDX 124252


--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "David & Laura" 
<cyclone_61032 at y...> wrote:

David:
> 
> I certainly agree Geoff that throwing tantrums are fair teenager 
> game. What I was trying to say, inefficiently probably, was that up 
> to now Harry's been a yeller and occassionally physical with 
> adversaries.
> 
> It seemed out of character to me for Harry to pitch a throwing fit. 
> I expected the yelling. I couldn't even see him picking up a chair 
> to attempt to bust down DD's door, but just not pick up doodads and 
> start busting them. I just thought it unusual for Harry.

Geoff:
Taking this a bit further, my own throwing incident only came back me 
when I read your post.

I have admitted on the group previously that, as a redhead in my 
youth, I inherited a redhead's temper. With the passage of life and 
the fading of the colour, I take a slightly more contemplative view 
of life :-)

I can so appreciate Harry's feelings because the incident I mentioned 
was the only time I have ever indulged in throwing and it was because 
I had been ratcheted up an extra gear to normal and I think that is 
what has happened to Harry. He has been pushed further than ever 
before and something has to blow to reduce the pressure.

This chapter in OOTP outlines it all. His mind is a seething cauldron 
of mixed emotions.

'If his surroundings could have reflected the feelings inside him, 
the pictures would have been screaming in pain. He walked around the 
quiet, beautiful office, breathing quickly, trying not to think. But 
he had to think... there was no escape.
It was his fault Sirius had died; it was all his fault...

...It was unbearable, he would not think about it, he could not stand 
it... there was a terrible hollow inside him he did not want to feel 
or examine, a dark hole where Sirius had been, where Sirius had 
vanished; he did not want to have to be alone with that great, silent 
space, he could not stand it -'
(OOTP "The Lost Prophecy" p.723 UK edition)

'"Dumbledore thinks very highly of you, as I am sure you know," he 
(Phineas Nigellus) said comfortably. "Oh yes. Holds you in great 
esteem."
The guilt filling the whole of Harry's chest like some monstrous, 
weighty parasite, now writhed and squirmed. Harry could not stand 
this, he could not stand being himself any more... he had never felt 
more trapped inside his own head and body, never wished so intensely 
that he could be somebody, anybody, else...'
(ibid. p.724)

'"There is no shame in what you are feeling, Harry," said 
Dumbledore's voice. "On the contrary... the fact that you can feel 
pain like this is your greatest strength."
Harry felt the white-hot anger lick his insides, blazing in the 
terrible emptiness, filling him with the desire to hurt Dumbledore 
for his calmness and his empty words....

"I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and 
throwing into the fireplace. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I WNAT OUT, I WANT IT 
TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE -"....

..."You do care," said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a 
single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was 
calm, almost detached. "You care so much that you feel as though you 
will bleed to death with the pain of it."
"I - DON'T!" Harry screamed, so loudly that he felt his throat might 
tear and for a second he wanted to rush at Dumbledore and break him, 
too; shatter that calm face, shake him, hurt him, make him feel some 
tiny part of the horror inside himself......

..."YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL!" Harry roared. "YOU - STANDING THERE - 
YOU -"
But words were no longer enough, smashing things was no more help; he 
wanted to run, he wanted to keep running and never look back... '
(ibid. pp.726-27)

Jo Rowling has captured the build up in his feelings - being trapped, 
cornered, at bay - and here we see his feelings building to a climax. 
Soon, sheer emotional exhaustion begins to take over and we see a 
gradual diminuendo in the volume of his outbursts and his physical 
exertions.

I wonder how many members of the group have ever experienced that 
sort of tension and needed to release it in some way? It is 
overwhelming and drives every sensible or calming thought from your 
mind like a violent hailstorm which you have to ride out and wait for 
its clearing.

That is why, as I have said before in a different thread, that I like 
the closing lines of this book when a measure of calm and acceptance 
has returned to Harry:

'Instead, he smiled, raised a hand in farewell, turned around and led 
the way out of the station towards the sunlit street...'

(OOTP "The Second War begins" p.766 UK edition)

That image, for me, carries huge symbolism.