Harry's grief (was: Dumbledore the General)

[horridporrid03]

No: HPFGUIDX 124330


>>Alla:
>Eh? Dumbledore left a traumatised boy alone during whole summer 
aftre GoF and completely closed any channels of information for him.<

Betsy:
But Harry seemed more angry at being kept out of the loop than 
anything else.  Yes, the events at the end of GoF still affected him, 
but especially if you compare Harry to say, Cho, Harry seems to be in 
a healthier mindset.  Dumbledore does admit that he should have 
brought Harry on board, but Dumbledore's actions weren't a 
callous, "I don't care about you, Harry," they were the much more 
loving, "I don't want you to have to bear the burden of becoming a 
killer right now."  Yes, it was a mistake to try and keep Harry safe, 
but the mistake was the result of a caring motive.
 
>>Alla: 
>At the end of OOP, Dumbledore pulled as Renee said "blame the victim 
act" and gave Harry a lecture about how badly Sirius treated 
Kreacher. ( Die, Kreacher, die now. :)) I call Dumbledore's handling 
of Harry's grief " in very poor taste" at best.<

Betsy:
Really?  At best?  I was highly impressed at how well Dumbledore 
handled the whole thing.  He admitted freely his part in the 
breakdown of communication, he kept absolutely no secrets from Harry, 
answered all of his questions, he made sure Harry was able to express 
his rage and grief fully - that nothing was kept bottled up inside.  
In allowing Harry to trash his office, Harry was able to get the very 
worst of his feelings out.  It's huge that Dumbledore did this.  It's 
not something everyone recognizes as necessary, but he made sure 
Harry knew he was completely free to fall apart.

As to the Kreacher thing.  Harry was looking around for a scapegoat.  
Dumbledore, I think, was making sure Harry could not put Kreacher in 
that role.  That was incredibly important because Dumbledore was 
correct, Kreacher was what wizards had made him.  Yes, the polite 
thing is to not speak ill of the dead, but Dumbledore had to make 
sure that Harry didn't take the easy way out and put all the blame on 
Kreacher.  (Harry lets go of Kreacher fairly easily - so I think a 
part of him recognized the problem there.)  Dumbledore tried to do 
the same with Snape - and I think (I hope) Harry did hear what 
Dumbledore was saying and that a peace will be made between Harry and 
Snape at some point.  But it was imperative that Harry come out of 
that meeting with Dumbledore without the twisted sort of emotions 
that Voldemort could use to his advantage.  I think Dumbledore did a 
good job (as he did in GoF) in draining out the bile, so to speak.

Of course Harry is still grieving.  But he's let out all his anger 
and he's starting to deal with his guilt.  I think we should not 
underestimate Ron and Hermione and Hagrid, either.  Hagrid especially 
gives Harry tons of support.  I loved that bit in GoF when he asks 
Harry is he's alright, and Harry says yeah he is, and Hagrid 
says, "'Course you're not.  But you will be." (paraphrased)  Harry 
does have a strong support group.
 
>>Betsy: 
>I also think that Harry's emotional well-being is a priority with 
Dumbledore.  I just think he handles it differently than others on 
this list would want him to.< 

>>Alla:
>I cannot disagree more about this statement. I think Dumbledore 
either does not care AT ALL about Harry's emotional well-being OR he 
has no clue whatsoever about how to improve Harry's emotional well-
being.<

Betsy:
That is so weird to me.  You don't think Dumbledore cares?  Why did 
he put up with Harry's breakdown?  Why did he force Harry to let his 
rage out instead of bottling it inside?  Okay - so he's also trying 
to keep Harry alive and that does require Harry staying at the 
Dursleys.  But again, Harry seemed more upset about being blocked off 
from Dumbledore.  If Harry had been kept in the loop I think he'd 
have had little problems with his month at the Dursleys.  I know you 
don't like the way Dumbledore operates. But to carry that through to 
the conclusion that Dumbledore is clueless or cold-hearted is a 
little extreme, IMO.  Harry seems to be baring up rather well 
considering all he's going through, and I think Dumbledore has been a 
big support for him. 

Betsy