Dumbledore the Counselor (was: Dumbledore the General)

[juli17 at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 124388

Alla wrote:

> "She doesn't love me," said Harry at once. "She doesn't give a damn-
> " - OOP, p.836.
> 
> If this is not a scar from abuse, I don't know what is.
> 
> Just my opinion of course,
> 
> Alla
> 

Julie replies:
I agree knowing that someone who should love you does not love
you leaves an emotional scar. It saddening and infuriating to see it 
happen to a child. It's also not uncommon, and often appears in  
blatant favoritism a parent, aunt, uncle, grandparent, etc, shows 
to one child over another. I can never understand how people can
do that in good conscience. 

But, the problem is, denial of love is *not* abuse, plain and simple. 
You can't force someone to love another, even if that other is a 
dependent child. If the child is adequately fed and clothed, sheltered
and educated, and not physically mistreated, then the child is not 
abused (note that children are regularly placed in foster homes with 
exactly this expectation, and with no requirement that they be loved 
by their foster parents). It's not fair, but life often isn't. 

Regarding Dumbledore, I think he was aware that the Dursleys weren't
going to provide Harry with a loving home. They were going to provide
him with adequate food and shelter, and an education. Whether DD
knew about sleeping in closets and such, I don't know. But I do
believe Dumbledore knew Harry would survive it all without serious
emotional damage. After all, Harry was the progeny of two strong-
willed, self-possessed parents and received 16 months of devotion 
from those loving parents. One could reasonably expect Harry to 
have received the benefit of both factors. And with the protection
Harry needed, it was Dumbledore's best choice, IMO. 

Julie 


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