mixed marriages

[stbjohn2]

No: HPFGUIDX 124532


I'd like to start a discussion about one idea that fascinates me: 
mixed marriages (as in wizard marries muggle. Those of you with, er, 
more active imaginations can think about wizard-giant or other 
combinations.) I've checked the Lexicon and Fantastic Posts and can't 
find anything obvious about this, so I thought I'd throw out a few 
knuts worth of thoughts and questions and see what anyone else has to 
say. 

 In CoS, Ron says, "most wizards are half bloods these days anyway. 
If we hadn't married muggles, we'd've died out." While one of Ron's 
functions is to give us insight into the opinions of ordinary 
wizards, I wonder if Ron is somewhat overstating the case. Or is he 
talking about some vague time in the past, when wizards had almost 
died out and had to marry muggles; or more recently, say his 
grandparent's generation, in the pre-rise-of-Voldy days (perhaps 
that's what gave Tom Riddle his idea on how to ride the wave of 
purebloodism to power).

It's true that we have very little information on marriage in the WW 
in general, and are as clueless as Harry about the wizard or muggle 
heritage of most of his classmates,  but as far as I know,  there are 
only three instances of muggle/wizard unions in canon, and one of 
those comes not from the books, but JKR's website.

The three mixed marriages that we know about are Tom Riddle's mother 
(witch) to Tom Riddle Sr. (muggle); Seamus Finnegan's mother (witch) 
and father (muggle), and Dean Thomas mother (muggle)  and father 
(wizard) -- the last from JKR's website. She writes (It's in the 
Extra section, under Edits) "Dean is from what he always thought was 
a pure Muggle background. He has been raised by his mother and his 
stepfather; his father walked out on the family when Dean was very 
young. He has a very happy home life, with a number of half-brothers 
and sisters. Naturally when the letter came from Hogwarts Dean's 
mother wondered whether his father might have been a wizard, but 
nobody has ever discovered the truth: that Dean's father, who had 
never told his wife what he was because he wanted to protect her, got 
himself killed by Death Eaters when he refused to join them. The 
projected story had Dean discovering all this during his school 
career."

We don't know if Seamus has any siblings, but TR was apparently an 
only child, and while Dean has several half-siblings, he was the only 
child of his parents' marriage. Canon records far more instances of 
muggleborns -- including Hermione, Dennis and Colin Creevey, Justin 
Finch-Fletchley, Lily Evans, and Ted Tonks (father of the young 
auror.) The first four represent four born within just a 3- or 4-year 
span. So, Ron's comments aside, it would seem common wisdom should be 
that "if it weren't for muggles giving birth to magical children, 
we'd've died out."

One interesting thing about these mixed marriages is they all have an 
element of secrecy to them. Two of the wizards apparently didn't tell 
their spouse their true identity until after they were married:  "I'm 
half-and-half," said Seamus. "Me Dad's a Muggle. Mom didn't tell him 
she was a witch until after they were married. Bit of a nasty shock 
for him." (SS/PS) 
Tom Riddle says, "I, keep the name of a foul common muggle who 
abandoned me even before I as born, just because he found out his 
wife was a witch?" (CoS)
The third Wizard, Dean's father, never revealed his identity as a 
wizard. Could this secrecy be required by the International Statue on 
Secrecy? Could it be the law that a wizard can't reveal his/her 
magical secret until after the wedding ceremony, or perhaps until 
there's a child involved (since we don't know at what point in the 
marriage these witches revealed their secret)? And is this secrecy 
really a good idea in a relationship, especially considering that 
wizards seem to view their magical ability as a core part of their 
being? (The "nasty shock" comment and TR Sr. leaving his wife 
certainly seem to point out that people don't like being lied to by 
their spouses.)

Moving on to the more speculative

How do you suppose these witches/wizards met their muggle mates? It 
seems to me that a wizard would have to make a concerted effort to 
seek out a muggle to date and marry, because normally, their paths 
just don't cross. Most people I know met their mate at school, work, 
church, or through friends, but none of those ways would likely 
result in a wizard meeting a muggle:
School -- All British wizards attend Hogwarts. (So, if you expect to 
follow convention and marry someone who is close in age to you, all 
you have to do is sit in the Great Hall during dinner in your fourth 
year and look around -- here is the entire pool of potential mates, 
unless you plan to look overseas.) No muggles attend Hogwarts, of 
course, so school is obviously out as a place for muggles and wizards 
to meet.
Work: Wizards seem to have magical jobs that don't put them in 
contact with muggles, so no mixing here.
Church: Wizards seem largely unchurched from what we've seen, and if 
they do attend church, I'd bet a few knuts they are not sharing the 
pews with muggles. 
Friends: Well, if all your friends are wizards, they aren't much 
likelier to know muggles than you. 
About the only place wizards and muggles seem to rub shoulders is on 
public transport, and they only use public transport because they are 
with kids who can't apparate, so even tho there's a sweet song about 
them, bus stop relationships seem unlikely as well.

Once you started dating a muggle, how would you hide your "magical 
me"? Again, it seems a wizard would have do put a lot of effort into 
fitting in as a muggle. Just putting on jeans and a sweatshirt won't 
do it -- think of the Quidditch World Cup, when the MOM was urging 
people to act like muggles and they really didn't have a clue how. 
Imagine Ron on a date with a muggle; any muggle girl with brains 
would hear alarm bells going off within a few minutes. Here's a guy 
who doesn't have a phone number, can't even pronounce the word 
telephone, doesn't know what football is, lives way out in the 
country and his family doesn't even own a car, has the vaguest notion 
of doctors and muggle medicine, and doesn't know anything about 
popular music, movies, TV or current events. ("Gee, Mum, I can't 
quite put my finger on it, but Ron's just really *different* from 
other boys I've dated.")

Marriage would be even more difficult, it seems to me, even if the 
revelation of magical status was completely accepted by the muggle. I 
think muggles would have a very difficult time living in the WW, even 
if they didn't have to face the kind of muggle prejudice that even 
the most well-meaning of wizards displays. A muggle would be totally 
handicapped living in the magical world, because he or she would need 
help doing even the most mundane task -- it appears you need a wand 
simply to turn on the stove to make tea, for example. Wizards, on the 
other hand, would have to give up a lot of basic magic to live in a 
muggle house, or they'd interfere with the electricity we muggles so 
depend on. I'm kind of curious how Mr. and Mrs. Finnegan have managed 
for so long.

(OK, this is several knuts worth of thoughts, a little more than I 
promised. But Snape, Dumbledore and Sirius never got mentioned once 
in this post, and isn't that refreshing?)

Sandy