combined response to posts

[Jocelyn Grunow]

No: HPFGUIDX 124623

Tonks and Steve - thankyou very much for your recent thoughtprovoking 
posts!  Lovely to see something different!

Steve - I loved the idea that Sir Nick could find peace by going 
through the veil.

Tonks - I think you are onto something there!  Petunia does not see 
herself as a bad person.  It is worth examining why.

Sometimes I wonder if when we discuss the Dursleys we should put our 
own qualifications as parents/guardians on the table.  I know that the 
view pre-parenthood can be startlingly different from the view 
post-parenthood.  I am reminded of an article I read once about a room 
that was divided into parents and non-parents.  They were asked whether 
parenthood changed who you were.  The non-parents replied "Of course 
not" while the parents laughed and were equally emphatic that it did.  
The writer said that many of the non-parents were not only 
uncomprehending but deeply offended by the response of the parents.

I learned to drive well into adulthood, and I can perhaps compare it to 
the difference between being a pedestrian and a driver.  Before I was a 
driver I never understood so many things about the awful driving I saw. 
  NOW I know that when the light still looks clear at the end of the 
day, it can be surprisingly concealing of a person wearing dark 
clothing.  NOW I know that when I am backing between two posts I am 
concentrating on those posts and may not immediately see someone who 
steps behind the car.

Similarly as a parent I understand the impulses that drive abuse of 
children much better!  I am a very good parent, honestly, but I doubt 
that anyone who has had children has failed to have the odd dark 
thought, and our stance against the evil contains a tinge of "there but 
for the grace of God go I" (or possibly for the less philosophically 
inclined "If I can keep from slapping the little b** sideways then so 
can s/he!").

Jocelyn