Are we abusing the concept of "abuse?"

[Steve]

No: HPFGUIDX 124695


--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "dumbledore11214"
<dumbledore11214 at y...> wrote:
> 
> Janet:
> 
> See, this is why I think people have no sympathy for various 
> posters' incessant cries of "abuse" -- the fact that apparently it 
> can mean whatever anyone wants it to mean.  There is some 
> justification for claiming abuse in Harry's case, but DUDLEY?
>  
> *snips extensive description of abuse*


> Alla:
> 
> I don't know. JKR does think that Dudley is abused. Why do you think 
> she says that? 
> 
> I thought that was primarily of Dursleys disregarding his weight 
> problem for years and years. I agree with you though that it seems 
> that Dudley is getting a lot of emotional support from his parents.
> 
> JMO,
> 
> Alla

bboyminn:

When JKR says 'abused', and she used that actual word, she meant it in
a broad general sense; in other words, she meant 'abuse' not 'ABUSE!!!!'.

Dudley is overindulged. He is sheltered from every responsibility
whether that means acting responsibly or being responsible for is
actions. He has a excessive sense of priviledge, he has been taught by
his parent that a tantrum will get him anything he wants.

What do you think will happen to Dudley when he goes out into the real
world as an adult? Do you think self-indulgence, lack of
responsibility, tantrums, and bullying are going to take him very far? 

Dudley is completely unprepared for the real world. He is very likely
to become a very disfunctional adult who is convinced that he is OK
and it is the rest of the world that is screwed up. 

Not to mention the fact that he will probably be dead of heart disease
and/or diabetes before he's 40. 

When Harry was hurt at the Dursely's, it was in the here and now;
'WHACK!', take that. But Harry, with strength of character, stubborn
determination, and sense of independance, is able to get beyond the
moment. Dudley is indulged in the moment but hurt by the Durselys in a
way that will follow him physically, emotionally, and functionally for
his entire life. 

I'm not trying to minimize in any way what happened to Harry. I'm
simply pointing out, as JKR tried to do, that the Durselys are harming
Dudley by the way they treat him. They aren't /abusing/ him in the
strictest sense, but they are harming him.

Just passing it along.

Steve/bboyminn